Buttin' In In Jail

From: Jack Ricardo

I joined the Air Force, but that was one fucking badass move on my part. I never could adjust to military life too well. Guess I’m just not a team player. But I adjusted to other things pretty good and that’s what I’m gonna tell you about, if you wanna listen.

After I finished basic and after sheet metal school, I was stationed near this hick town in the middle of Oklahoma patching B-52s. Me and Sonny shared a room on the base, and we hung out together in town, if you can call it a town. It wasn’t much of one. And we were always getting drunk on weekends and broke before the next payday came.

One Saturday we pooled our dough. We counted 12 bucks between us. Good enough. We hopped in our civvies and thumbed a ride to Elk City — that’s the hick town I was telling you about. As usual, we hiked over to The Blue Pig — a stupid name for a bar I know, but that’s where the fun was and the good-time girls hung out. Though in truth, I didn’t much care for girls. I didn’t know why then, but I do now. Back then I guess I was queer and just didn’t know it. Anyway, Sonny wanted to go to The Pig, so we went. Our 12 bucks was shot in an hour, and the bartender wouldn’t give us credit. We hitched to town. The real town has a downtown, and The Pig was on a highway into town. Sonny had a plan.

We would stop in at H & Ks — that’s a greasy-spoon dive we sometimes went to. Anyway, while Sonny was keeping the owner busy up front, I was supposed to sneak in the back door and cop a case of beer ‘cause we wanted to drink some more. The back door was always open, ‘cause customers came in that way too. It worked like a charm, until Sonny joined me in the back alley.

We saw a cop car coming down the alley. I chucked the case in the bushes, and me and Sonny kept walking like we were out for a midnight stroll. Kinda stupid, I guess, ‘cause we didn’t fool nobody. The cop took us in, went back and found the case, and booked us.

We were tossed in the drunk tank of the smallest, stinkiest jail you ever saw. We were walked down a dark concrete hallway and there were only two cells on both sides. The cop unlocked a door and shoved us inside. The cell was like goddamned Grand Central Station. There were more drunken Indians than Custer ever saw and old sleazy cowboys to boot. They didn’t rape our asses or bother us or anything like that, but damn they were noisy and farted a lot. Me and Sonny found us a spot on the floor and sat there awake all night.

In the morning, we got took before a judge, not even a real courtroom, just a room. “Guilty. Twenty days or 20 dollars.” How stupid. If we had the 20 bucks, we wouldn’t have copped the beer. So it was 20 days in the slammer. And now we were AWOL too. And that was too bad.

At least since we were now sentenced criminals, we weren’t put back in the drunk tank. But we weren’t put in a cell by ourselves either. There were four dented metal bunks chained to the wall, and every one of the bunks was filled — again old men, some couldn’t even speak English, and the others didn’t want to. Me and Sonny claimed a spot under one of the bunks. There were no blankets or nothing, so we sat on the cement floor.

There was a small window high up one wall, and it was screened and barred. And there was a shitty toilet bowl in the corner. That’s it. No tables, no chairs. The place stunk. After about three or four days, we got into the routine of the dump. Oatmeal at 10, beans at 4. No TV, no radio, no dirty magazines, no visitors, no nothing. Same thing every day. And about 2 every morning, the cop would smash his stick against the bars and give us blankets that smelled worse than rat shit.

I guess it was the fourth night. I was getting horny as a whore in church. And I guess Sonny was too. After the goddamned guard threw our blankets in, we as usual laid them on the floor to make something to try to be a bed. I fell asleep pretty quickly, but I woke up just as quick. There was only the moonlight outside the barred window, so it was still nighttime.

And guess what? I was hugging Sonny. He was facing the concrete wall, but his ass was facing me. And there I was lying on his back, my crotch in his ass, like two spoons. And I had a roaring hard-on. Course we were both wearing blue jeans, but that didn’t much matter ‘cause a hard-on was still a hard-on. Course my first thought was to push myself away from Sonny, but then I didn’t, ‘cause I was just feeling too damn good. And you don’t get too much of a chance to feel good when you’re in the slammer. My stiff rod was pressing inside my jeans into the crack of Sonny’s ass inside his jeans. It was a nice kinda thrilling feeling.

1 lay there like that, feeling as good as you could in jail and intending to go back to sleep and hoping I would dream about fucking. And I did drowse and kind of nod off, but not altogether. I was having too many horny fucking thoughts, and I started to hump my crotch into Sonny’s ass in kind of a bouncy way, like a rhythm I was hearing in my ears, only there wasn’t no music.

I guess what I was doing to Sonny’s ass was more like what a horny dog does when he humps your leg. I was half awake and floating on a cloud of denim between the cheeks of Sonny’s ass. I had one arm wrapped around his chest, and the other was kind of hanging up over my own head, and my knuckles were knocking against the cement wall.

I think I coulda come in my pants like that — it was such a smooth feeling, scratching my dick into Sonny. I mean, we had on our blue jeans, but hell, I told you that, and it felt good anyway. I could have lain like that all night and twice on Sunday. And then I realized that maybe Sonny probably was feeling the same way, ‘cause he began pushing his ass back a little. I think he loved the feeling the same way I was.

I became kinda full awake then, but I sure as hell didn’t pull my dick away now. Fact is, I began humping his ass a little harder. I guess I was testing to see if he was sleeping or awake, though I really knew he was awake and only pretending to sleep. He didn’t tell me to stop, so he was either sleeping and didn’t care or he was awake and didn’t care. Either way, I didn’t care.

The hand I had on his chest, I lowered. Actually, I worked it inside his shirt. The buttons popped away very easy — half of them were gone anyway. And I began to tuck my hand into the front of his jeans, all the time keeping that boner of mine square in the crack of his ass and pressing and humping a little and feeling like a million bucks without paying taxes.

His jeans were kinda tight, and I thought I felt Sonny suck in his stomach so as to give my hand room. But maybe that was only my imagination. Anyway, my fingers did slide inside the edge of the front of his jeans. His belly felt warm, and it was as welcome as a Franklin stove on a snowy morning at Grandma’s. And I was even feeling the little hairs that grew from Sonny’s belly button into his jeans.

I pressed hard on his stomach with my hand to press his ass further into my dick. And Sonny pressed with me. He really gave a big hunch back and really cuddled his ass cheeks into my dick. He wasn’t sleeping, that’s for sure. And he didn’t pull my hand out of the top of his jeans either. So I went in farther.

My hand was even sliding under his underwear at the same time. They were baggy boxer shorts. Pretty soon, I was kinda scratching at his crotch hairs, which felt kinda sweaty. Course I had seen Sonny naked lots of times, ‘cause we roomed together on base. And I seen his crotch hair. But I never felt it before. Sonny has kinda dark hair on his head and other parts of his body, like under his arms and above his dick. And I have blond in the same places. His hair felt kinda wiry in my fingers, and I liked the sweat of it too. I never did that before to a guy, felt his crotch hairs, and I right away thought of taking my hand out of his pants, but I didn’t. My dick liked it too much.

And you know what? I pushed my hand down his jeans a little farther, and what happened? I felt the head of his dick touching my fingers. It was wet too, like mine gets when I get hot, you know, kinda dribbling. I got scared then ‘cause here I was with my hand in my best friend’s jeans.

But even though I wasn’t touching his whole dick, I knew it was hard ‘cause the dick head felt big and round and rubbery, teasing itself against my hand. I figured what the hell.

I pulled and pushed my hand farther down in his jeans until I was just able to wind my fingertips around his dick head. My God, you would have thought I was playing with myself, it felt so good. I mean, I loved it, playing like that, trying to see if I could pop his top with using just my fingers to groove around it. What a nice fucking dick head it felt like. And, like I said, I seen Sonny’s dick lots of times, ‘cause we live together, but I never saw it hard, and I never felt his dick head. But this was something.

Just feeling that hard knob — it felt as big as a summer tomato. I was thinking it might even be bigger than my own dick head. Then I started to wonder how big his dick was against how big mine was. I mean the whole dick, not just the head. Mine was big enough for me, and it fit just right between the cheeks of Sonny’s ass. The scratched denim material was feeling damn good.

But I wanted to know how big Sonny was when he was hard. And I found out. I just shoved my hand all the way down in his pants and grabbed it — his cock. Sonny even jumped a little. I swear that cock felt as hard as iron and as hot as the sidewalk in the sun. But I don’t think it was bigger than mine. Kinda felt just like mine, pretty near. Well, to tell the truth, at that moment when I had my hand in his pants and my fist wrapped around his stiffer, his dick felt better than mine. I don’t know why. I guess ‘cause it was just a nice fucking rod. It just felt so fucking good.

Sonny was really awake now, I think. I mean he didn’t say nothing or open his eyes, but he began snuggling his ass into me like he was a baby that wanted to be loved. And with me fisting his stiff dick, he even moaned a little and kinda sighed a lot. But he still wouldn’t let me see he was awake. I didn’t care now. I was enjoying myself, even if I was in jail. I had my hand in his pants and was pulling on his dick just like I would pull on my own. But I wasn’t — my own dick was having a good time all by itself, moving around on Sonny’s ass, trying to find the best place to lay its head.

I didn’t even feel Sonny move his hand, but all of a sudden his fingers musta popped open his blue jeans, ‘cause they were wide open. Wow, his jeans were loose now, and I dropped my hand down a little further, ‘cause I wanted to feel his balls too. And I did. And if I thought his dick felt so great, I really got off on reaching underneath to feel his balls.

Did you ever feel so good you almost had to gulp? Well, that’s how I felt when I grabbed Sonny’s balls. I did gulp too. Loud. And I couldn’t help it — I just wanted to make love there, and I started to suck on Sonny’s neck, pushing my dick into his blue jeans and his ass and pulling on his balls. I guess I was getting too excited, ‘cause I brought my other hand down, and I used both hands to push Sonny’s jeans down from his ass.

And it wasn’t easy ‘cause Sonny wasn’t helping. He wasn’t lifting his ass to help me push his jeans down. But still, I got them down and his shorts too. His bare ass was sticking smack-dab against my denim crotch, and I was rubbing both hands now over his bare stomach, his hairs, his dick, his balls, all of him.

Both hands and pushing him further onto my dick. And damn, Sonny was wiggling his ass behind him into my dick. And my dick was hurting, pressing against my own zipped-up zipper. I think Sonny was wiggling his rear end so much ‘cause I was making his front end feel so fucking good.

I couldn’t take it no more. I took my hands away from Sonny’s chest and unbuttoned my own jeans and pushed them down almost to my knees with my shorts too, and I quickly smack-dabbed myself right back against Sonny’s bare ass with my bare front. You would have thought I landed on the moon, both of us.

Christ, I never felt nothing like it, my stiff rod cuddled inside Sonny’s bare ass crack. My dick head was facing up to the north and I think it almost reached his waist. But that wasn’t the only thing that felt so goddamned good… pressing my balls against him did too. That was something else. Even the hairs on my crotch felt like they were burning on fire when they rubbed against those smooth feeling cheeks of Sonny’s ass.

Now I knew Sonny was awake, ‘cause when I reached around again to play with his cock he was already playing with it. But he quickly moved his hand away and made believe he was sleeping again. But he wasn’t fooling me. He loved what I was doing to his ass with my dick as much as I loved it. And pretty soon he was pushing his bare ass back into me again, wanting more of it, I guess. And that’s when, I guess, I decided I wanted to give him more.

To tell the truth, I did want to give him more too. I won’t lie to you. And I thought about poking my dick into his asshole. I never did that to no guy before, and I didn’t know if I could do it, but I thought, Why not try? If Sonny didn’t want me to, he could wake up — ha, ha — and tell me to stop.

I know assholes are small and tight, so I figured I better grease up his hole a little, but ‘course I didn’t have no Vaseline or butter there lying on the floor of that jail. So I just spit in my hand and put my hand right on Sonny’s butt hole. I think maybe Sonny didn’t like the idea ‘cause his body kind of stiffened when I grabbed his ass with my spitty fingers. But then I started to tickle his hole with one slimy finger.

The hole felt kinda strange and wrinkly, and I ain’t never ever touched an asshole before, not even my own, not the way I was touching Sonny’s. But I guess Sonny was liking it, ‘cause he relaxed again, and I felt his ass kind of wiggle a little too while I was tickling his hole. And I liked doing it too. You know what else felt good about it? The hairs around his hole.

Yeah, believe it or not, they kind of gave me a tingle playing around with them and picking at them.

I don’t know when it happened, and I didn’t even plan on doing it, but pretty soon the tip of my finger was working itself inside his asshole. Wow, it felt smoother than syrup on buttered pancakes inside that hole with my finger. For both of us, ‘cause Sonny liked it too. He let me slide my finger farther inside him till he couldn’t take any more because there was no more finger to give him. I had my fuck finger up in Sonny’s butt hole up to my knuckle, and I even wiggled it around a little. That’s when I started to nibble on Sonny’s neck again — I couldn’t help it — and I started to press my dick against my hand against Sonny’s ass. I think I even heard Sonny kinda whimper like a little kitten I had once. It died. I started to bite his ear, and he whimpered some more. Not the kitten, Sonny. I wanted more.

I slipped my finger out of his butt, and Sonny almost yelped. I could feel him holding his breath. Then I spit in my hand again and rubbed my dick clean with the slippery spit. I think Sonny knew what was coming, and I think he was even starting to turn around to stop me, but I quick took my hand off my dick and hugged his ass back to me. My sloppy dick was pressing against his crack again, and I pulled my hips back ‘cause I wanted to aim the head of my dick smack-dab into the hole of his butt.

I felt my dick head kind of search around down there, and I felt it too when my dick head found his hole, I just knew it. Sonny did too, ‘cause he tried to pull away. No way! I quick grabbed his cock — it was still as hard as a fucker — so I guess what I was doing to him he liked. Anyway, I pushed my hips forward a little, but maybe I pushed them too far ‘cause the head of my dick pushed itself right into Sonny’s asshole. It did, it really did. I felt his asshole grow wide, and my dick plopped in just like a snake in the grass, or maybe like a snake in the hole. And Sonny goddamned did yelp this time.

Sonny tried to move away, maybe my dick was hurting him. It probably was, ‘cause if anybody put their dick head up my asshole it would probably hurt me too. But I didn’t much care if Sonny was hurting — I mean my dick didn’t care, it tried to get even deeper inside Sonny. But Sonny was clamping his ass muscles tight, and my dick head was trapped. I reached under and got a hold of Sonny’s dick. Stiff as a board, and I started to jack it a little, keeping my dick head stuck up his ass. I was keeping Sonny from pulling away, but pretty soon he didn’t want to ‘cause of what I was doing to his dick — jacking it off.

And when I felt Sonny relax his asshole muscles, I pushed my dick a little farther inside him, and I kept my hand busy whacking on his cock ‘cause that way he was feeling good, and I was feeling good, and my dick was feeling good ‘cause it was going in his shit-hole tunnel, and his dick was feeling good ‘cause I was fucking it with my fist.

Pretty soon Sonny let my whole cock go up into his asshole. I knew I was all the way in ‘cause my crotch hairs was rubbing against his bare butt, and I felt like I never felt better before then. I had Sonny cram-packed with my dick, and my hand was full of his. I started to move my hips around a little bit, poking around inside there with my rod, trying to feel every corner of that butt from the inside with my dick. My dick was searching something ferociously, and it was feeling mighty fine doing it. Sonny liked the search too ‘cause he was helping, wiggling his ass like a pig in heat. He really started to fuck my dick with his ass and his whole body, moving and shaking. And I pulled my ass back and pulled my dick almost out of his ass, then rammed it back in, slapping his ass and making gushy sounds.

I was hugging him around the chest with one hand grabbing his tit and the other hanging on to his dick. I even reached down with my fingers to wiggle them through his balls, and Sonny almost pushed me to the bars on the door the way he rammed his ass back onto my dick.

He was coming a handful, and I was getting it all over in my hand. I slam-dunked my dick fast and quick right deep into his butt and stayed there ‘cause now I was shooting off my load. It felt like the Fourth of July, Robert E. Lee’s birthday, and Halloween all in one. That good! And that’s good. I just kept my dick shooting off in Sonny’s ass and hanging on to his rod and hugging him to death.

Pretty soon we were both breathing, trying to catch up on our breath. And I guess Sonny started sleeping pretty soon after that. I was pretty near ready for snooze time myself, and I was still feeling so fucking good ‘cause I still had my dick up his ass, even though it was maybe soft. But I figured, no, I better pull out and pull up my jeans ‘cause when the guard comes he’ll see and know what we was doing. So I did. My dick plopped out of Sonny’s ass. Sonny was snoring away. I pulled up my jeans and zipped them. I tried to pull Sonny’s up as best I could, which wasn’t too well ‘cause he was sleeping and snoring and didn’t help.

When I turned over I saw an old fucker in the bunk on the other side looking over at us and grinning and with his hand on his dick. I guess he was jerking off. I turned over and went to sleep, and I still snuggled close next to Sonny just like when we started, my blue jeans against Sonny’s blue jeans.

Next morning Sonny didn’t say nothing ‘bout me dicking his ass. But around oatmeal time he said something like they should give us saltpeter in here and that his ass was sore and that it must be from sleeping on the concrete floor. “Yeah, must be,” I said. But we both knew it wasn’t true.

By the way, if you wanna know what happened to Sonny and me the rest of my life, we both got discharged as undesirable. I work as a car mechanic now, and Sonny’s been doing construction. We been steady fuck buddies going on ten years now. Who’d a thought? We still don’t talk ‘bout it much. Never did. But come the cold nighttime with the blankets pulled up to our necks, Sonny starts to wiggle just like he done that first night I come in him in jail, and I know it’s time to make him happy. And me too.