Milking Duty

From: Jason

The warm breeze hit him in the face as he looked out across the open field. So much had changed in the past six months. He had turned eighteen, he had graduated high school, and now, thanks to his parents, Jason was going to college. The very thought of more school sickened him. He had spent twelve years in the prison that was called school. The fact was, Jason had no direction at all. He knew that he liked to have fun, but his father preached that hard work would bring happiness, fun would not. Somehow Jason figured that was not true.

Jason grew up in a small farming community in central Kentucky called Ballard. He and his parents lived in the exact house that his grandparents and his great-grandparents had lived in. Growing up on a farm kept Jason busy most of the time. His strict catholic parents were relentless. It seemed that all he could remember of his childhood was his parents yelling at him. They were not the most patient of parents that was for sure.

Jason had one job on the farm. He milked the cows, twice a day, 365 days a year. It was not his favorite job, but compared to the things that his older brother and sister had to help with, he considered himself lucky. Still, Jason found that this never-ending chore took most of his time. He had friends, they were farm kids as well, so they were busy just like he was. They often got together after the chores were done for the night at the local Catholic Church parking lot, Saint Ivo. Jason rarely stayed as late as the other kids did, his parents were quite strict with his curfew. He was to be home and in bed by 9:30. Many times, Jason would only go up to his room and pretend that he was in bed, having quietly climbed out on the porch roof and down a column of the front porch and out to the road where he met his friends, Mike and Jacob. Being from a catholic family, alcohol was never hard to find. They would ride in Jacob’s truck and drink, even though neither three was nineteen.

Now Jason was a strange combination of happy, sad and scared. He was happy to be leaving the farm and all of its time consuming chores. He liked the fact that he would be in the dorm, away from all of his parent’s rules and yelling. Jason was scared simply because his world was changing. In a month he would be loading his things up in his blazer and driving the 72 miles to Saint Catherine College (one more decision that his family controlled, he was sent to a catholic college with nuns and priests and the whole works). At least Mike would be with him, they had decided to go to the same college or at least their parents had decided.

Mike was the best friend that a guy could have. Since they were six years old, Jason and Mike were inseparable, spending every free moment together. They liked the same things like horseback riding, singing, and of course masturbation. It had been about 7 years ago when Mike and Jason had discovered the neat little trick that their privates could do. Many hours were spent in the hayloft, the milk room, and the feed shed exercising their boyhood cocks. Mike was tall, 6’4 and thin. His dark hair was often covered by his red cap. His back was browned by the long hours spent in the fields plowing and raising his families’ tobacco crop. Mike’s dark brown eyes were mesmerizing, so innocent, yet so devious and a killer smile, the girls loved him. He played basketball and was very strong and athletic. He made A’s in math and could tear a tractor motor apart and put it back together with ease.

Jason was much smaller than Mike. They were quite an odd couple. Jason was 5’6 and thin. His blue eyes were like the sky and his hair was a strange mixture of blond and black. He too was athletic, but his size made him choose another sport, baseball. He was very quick on his feet and quite deadly on the baseball field, it was the only thing that his parents adjusted the rules for. When baseball season came around, the chores were adjusted for practice and games. While Jason was good at the game, it never really interested him like it did his teammates. His father had pushed him into it, and he had gone along just to please him, but it had quirks, no milking chores through the week. Jason was the academic of the family. He passed physics with no problem, barely cracking a book and could write a paper the night before it was due and make it sound as though he had spent weeks researching it. He was popular with the girls as well, but was strictly forbidden to date. His parents were determined that what happened to his older brother would not happen to him.

Jason took a deep breath, smelling the grass around him, he turned and walked toward the barn, it would soon be time to milk the cows. Garth Brook’s song “the thunder rolls” played through his mind as he hummed along. As he approached the barn, he could hear the calves bawling for their mothers. The barn had a familiar smell, or as familiar as the smell of cow shit could be. Mike crossed his mind, Jason wondered what he was going to do tonight, and he decided that he would give him a call when his chores were done. Jason opened the door and began assembling the tools for the night’s chores.

Jason hurried through the chores, and jogged to the house. As he came around the corner of the tool shed he heard some tools rattling. He stuck his head in the door to see his brother and his father replacing some of the blades on the disk. The very sight of them made his stomach churn. Gary, Jason’s older brother, had always been the favorite. He stood 6’ tall and had powerful muscles across his chest and in his arms. He looked so much like their father, that Jason had trouble telling them apart from behind. He started to go in but then decided not to, who needed a long explanation of how one should learn to do their own mechanics as it would save lots of money. Jason turned toward the house. He watched some sort of bird perch on the eve of the house and he could smell supper cooking. The sun was going down and the air was getting cooler as he went in the front door.

“Jason take those nasty boots off!” his mother warned.

“Yes mom.” He mumbled.

“Mike called, wanted you to call him I think”, his mom said as she turned the steak over in the frying pan.

“What time did he call?”

“About twenty minutes ago” she said impatiently.

Jason kicked off his boots and ran up the stairs and dialed the phone as he flipped on his stereo. He put Pink Floyd in because he knew his mother disapproved. The phone rang twice as he heard a deep voice on the other end say “hello.”

“Mr. Mattingly, this is Jason, can I speak to Mike?”

“Yeah hold on a sec.”

Jason held the phone as he heard his mother at the bottom of the stairs yell “turn that shit down!” He rolled his eyes and giggled to himself as Mike’s voice came on the other end. “Hey guy what’s up?” Mike said enthusiastically.

“Not much for real, just getting yelled at, you know the usual”, Jason laughed.

“Whatcha doin tonight?”

“Not much, guess I’ll go up to the church and hang out for awhile, you seen Jacob?”

“Yeah I talked to him this morning, said he was going to Frankfort with Kirsten, guess he’s hard up and needs some”, Mike laughed.

“Well what is new with that? Guess he will be back afterwards to brag” Jason laughed “guess it is just you and me then, are you bringing the drink?”

“Yeah my cousin Brad got a bottle of Makers Mark for me last night, should make our night pass quite well, ya think?” Mike bragged.

“No doubt! I will meet ya there around eight.”

“Sure thing guy, later!”

Jason chucked off his jeans and his T-shirt and pitched them in the corner knowing that his mother hated it when he left things in the floor like that. Grabbing some clean underwear and socks, he dug through the pile of clean clothes on the chair at the end of the bed and snatched some blue-jean shorts and his Old Navy T-shirt and headed for the shower.

Jason closed his eyes and let the hot water hit his face. His mind wondered back to the hill that he had stood on earlier in the day, the yellow flowers in the pasture, the blue sky, the black and white of the cows and their sharp contrast to the bright green of the grass. His image was interrupted as he heard his father beating on the bathroom door, yelling “water is not free it can’t take that long for you to wash.” Jason rolled his eyes and cussed under his breath at his father. Over the years, Jason had grown to dislike his father. Nothing he did ever seemed to be enough to impress that man. All that he ever heard was stinging criticism. He could not recall the number of times that he was encouraged to be more like his older brother.

Jason reached down and turned off the water and felt around the curtain for a towel. He pulled the curtain back and stepped out of the shower. He could see himself in the mirror. The water shined on his hairless body, his brown nipples and the line of muscles that outlined his chest and stomach. He posed for a minute to look at himself in the mirror, admiring how his cock hung down. It was not huge, but an impressive seven and a half inches. He smiled at himself as he threw on some deodorant and cologne. He slid into his clean clothes and paused before he opened the bathroom door. He knew that he would have to make a quick get away if he was to escape the twenty questions and harsh advice that awaited him in the kitchen. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He walked swiftly through the house, stopping only to slide on his shoes and grab his baseball cap. He went out the door as he heard his mother yelling about the water in the bathroom floor. He hopped in his blazer and drove quickly down the driveway, exhaling in relief that he had made it out.

Jason pulled up to see Mike already holding the bottle of Makers Mark in the window and smiling. Mike grabbed his cigarettes and the bottle of whiskey and jumped in Jason’s blazer and they were off. They both knew better than drinking and driving but rationalized it by staying in the country knowing that police officers were extremely rare in the area, especially after 8 o’clock.

Two hours later the boys ended up behind Saint Ivo church. The area was wooded and hardly anyone had any reason to go behind it. The cemetery was quiet and made the perfect spot to hide. Many nights had been spent there, laughing and talking about the things that concern teenagers. Tonight was no exception.

Mike passed the bottle to Jason wiping his lips from the shot he had just taken. Jason brought the bottle up to his nose. He loved the smell of bourbon. He turned the bottle up and took a large drink. As he brought the bottle back down, he clenched his teeth and inhaled sharply. The bourbon burned his throat and made his eyes water. The radio was playing “Hooch” by Everything. Jason leaned back against the seat and broke the silence.

“What do ya think college is gonna be like?”

“Don’t know, but all that really matters is that we are outta this place and away from our parents.”

“Yeah, that does sound so good”, Jason muttered.

Both boys were drunk. The bottle was over half empty. The night was still, the moon shown bright and the stars sparkled furiously above. The fireflies were all around them and the dew-wet grass glittered brightly across the cemetery. Suddenly Mike started to laugh out loud.

“Do you remember that time that we were in the hay loft beating off and your father nearly caught us. I have never put my clothes on so fast in all of my life.”

Laughing, Jason said “yeah, and you were trying to run and pull up your pants and fell over one of the bales and just about dislocated your knee. That was hilarious man.”

The silence was back and Jason began to wonder why Mike had been thinking of that, or the fact that they were beating off together. Jason remembered how Mikes’ cock looked. It was big, larger than his by at least two inches and curved to the right when it was hard. Jason felt himself getting hard thinking about Mikes’ cock. He looked over at his friend. Mike sat there with his hand lying on his crotch nonchalantly. His other hand lay on the door with a Marlboro smoking. He had a grin on his face as though he was thinking about something humorous.

“Mike, why did you say that, about us beating off and stuff?”

“Don’t know, just sitting here thinking how long it had been since you and I had done that I guess. I think we did it here last, in your mom’s Buick remember?”

Jason thought about it and said, “Yeah I think it was.”

Silence returned until it was broken with a most bizarre question from Mike.

“Jason you ever wonder what it would be like to screw a man?”

Jason sat there, hardly believing what his friend had just asked. His head started to spin and his cock was pressing hard against his jeans. Jason could hardly believe it when he heard himself say, “yeah I have wondered a few times, why?”

“I guess I just liked it when you and me used to jerk off together. I’m hard now thinkin’ bout it. I been thinking bout it lately, must be the heat or somethin’. Don’t reckon I am a fag do ya?”

Jason thought about it and said “nah, I think about it too ya know. Mom and dad won’t let me date girls so I gotta jerk off for relief, and I think ‘bout you and me jerkin off back then.”

Silence returned. The crickets sang loud and the pond frogs could be heard from the lake just down the hill. A whipper will sing in the distance. Jason’s mind was racing. The thought of seeing Mike jerk off again was quite exciting. In the back of his mind he was afraid to be too eager, fearing that Mike would notice and think he was gay or something.

Mike broke the silence, “Think you’d like to suck on my dick? I’d suck yours if ya did.”

Jason thought that he would explode from the invitation. As calm and cool a reaction as he could muster, he said, “yeah I guess so. What could it hurt?”

With that Mike exhaled deeply and unzipped his pants. The light from the radio put a green cast over the cab of the truck. There it was. That cock that had so amazed him in the past. Tonight he would get to do much more than watch, he would actually get to touch it. Jason watched as Mike eased his Levi’s down to his knees and started to play with his balls. Mike looked over at Jason who was watching intensely.

“Well here it is. How ya wanna start?”

Jason’s eyes were locked on target and he was so mesmerized by this turn of events that he nearly missed his friend’s question. “Umm uh, guess I’ll come around there.”

With that Jason took another drink from the bottle and opened the door. The liquor made him dizzy as he started to walk around the truck. He heard Mike open the door as he stumbled around the corner of the truck. Jason was so eager that he quickly dropped to his knees by the side of the truck. Mike slid around so that he was half standing and half leaning on the seat. Jason could feel the dew on his knees. His head was spinning, either from the excitement or the liquor, he couldn’t tell which. He put his hands on Mikes’ legs to balance himself and he laughed nervously. He could feel Mike’s warm skin and the hair on his leg. It was dark but Jason had no trouble making out the huge member that hung in front of him. Slowly, Jason brought his mouth to Mikes’ cock.

“Oh fuck yeah, ummm, damn” Mike hissed.

Jason had never done this before and was a little nervous that he may not do it right. Mike’s noises urged him on though. They didn’t sound like noises that pain caused. Jason slid the cock into his mouth as far as it would go, and there were still two inches that would not fit. Mike looked down as his best friend gave him head. He gently brought his hand down and turned Jason’s baseball cap around backwards and then rested his hand at the base of Jason’s neck. He started to rock his hips rhythmically with the song by All Saints “never ever” that was playing on the radio. Jason caught the hint and started to pull back on Mike’s rod only to slowly swallow it again.

Jason could smell Mike’s crotch. He could smell the soap that he had showered with earlier mixed with the musky scent of manhood. All of this mixed with the stout smell of bourbon. Jason closed his eyes as he savored the taste of his friend. Mike’s pace quickened as a new song started on the radio. Jason’s jaws were starting to ache but he had no intention of stopping. Suddenly, Jason felt something hit the back of his throat. It was cum. Mike had shot his load in his mouth. He had not even thought that far in advance and was not prepared to take the load. Mike’s cum was salty, thick and creamy. Jason’s eyes watered as he pulled off Mike’s cock and swallowed furiously as some of the hot liquid ran down his chin. Jason sat back on his haunches and looked up at his friend who had shed his shirt and was looking down at him with the look of intense satisfaction. “Man that was totally fucking cool,” Mike said with a gasp.

The moon was glaring off Mike’s chest and wet cock. Jason wiped his mouth off and said “man you could have warned me that you were gonna shoot. You ‘bout fucking killed me.”

Both boys laughed. Jason got up from the grass and reached around Mike and grabbed the bottle of bourbon that was lying in the seat of the truck and took a drink. “Sorry man, it just felt so good, I got caught up in it and I was cumming fore I knew it.”

Jason looked at Mike with a smile and said “no prob, we’ll just see how you like it.”

“Nah man I don’t think I could do it, what was it like?”

“It wasn’t that bad, kinda cool actually” Jason chided, hoping his friend would not chicken out.

“Ok then how ya want yours?”

With that, Jason hopped up in the seat of the blazer and laid back in the seat. He reached down and unzipped his jeans and pulled his semi-hard cock out. “Suck it” he said with grin.

Mike turned and pulled up his pants. He leaned into the truck and took Jason’s cock into his mouth. Mike could feel the cock brush the back of his throat, making his eyes water. He replicated the moves that Jason had made, for this was his first cock as well. Jason hissed and inhaled deeply. Jason was so excited by his best friend giving him head that he barely lasted a minute. He shot his load into Mike’s mouth. Afterwards, Mike stood up and wiped his mouth off and gave his friend a big smile and said jokingly, “damn man that was damn near a rim shot.”

“Well it ain’t every day that such a good cocksucker comes along.”

With that Mike reached up and thumped the brim of his hat and said, “Fuck ya, bitch”. Mike grabbed the bottle and washed down Jason’s juice. “It’s a damn shame that we just now started doing this. Hell we coulda been sucking each other off since we were twelve.”

“Yeah I know, damn, look at what time it is, my mom and dad are gonna kill me, I gotta get up and milk in the morning. We better get outta here.” Jason said.

With that, both boys jumped in the blazer. Jason drove around the church and dropped Mike off at his truck and headed towards home. The feeling of what had just happened between he and Mike was exciting. He could feel the effects of the alcohol and he wondered what things would be like the next time that he and Mike were together. Was it the alcohol that made them do it? Would it happen again? Would Mike be all freaked out and stuff?

Jason pulled up in the driveway and sure enough his parent’s bedroom light was on. “Damn” he mumbled to himself glancing at the clock. 1:03. He slid his shirt on and stumbled to the house. He unlocked the door and went inside. He heard his mother say “I hope that you are not planning to sleep in tomorrow.” He rolled his eyes and said “no mother.” He kicked off his shoes and went up the stairs and plopped down on his bed. Visions of the blowjob he had just given raced through his mind. Could he be gay himself? Well if he was, then so was Mike. He closed his eyes and drifted into sleep, his stomach fluttering with the recent memory the night’s deed. The next thing Jason knew, the alarm was blaring. Could it be 5:30 already? He sat up in the bed, still drunk. Was it a dream or had he really blown his best friend the night before. He put his hand on his chin and sure enough, there was dried cum there. He smiled and climbed out of the bed.

The next day Jason felt like a new person. The sun was shining bright while he went about his daily chores. He ran last nights events through his mind over and over and it seemed to get hotter each time it was replayed. Jason took a break from patching the fence and looked out across pasture. In the distance, he could see the silos of Mike’s farm. Jason wondered to himself what Mike was thinking about. Did he enjoy what had happened last night? Would he want to do it again? Jason’s concentration was broken as his father spoke aloud. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Just taking a break” Jason stammered.

“Well ya need to git yer ass in gear, guess ya think that the damned hole in the fence is gonna fix itself?”

“Yeah, yeah dad, I’m doing it,” Jason said rolling his eyes as he turned his back to his father.

Jason wondered what the hell his father was doing. Today was Saturday and he knew that his father always went to the stockyards with his brother. Well Jason really did not care, these past few weeks, his father’s attitude was nearly more than he could bare. Thank God that he would soon be moving off to school and would have at least some relief. Jason looked up and saw two blue birds chattering in the tree above. He stood there for a moment, watching the leaves dancing in the wind. In the distance he heard a cow bawl. He looked at his watch and realized that it would soon be milking time again. He finished up the fence and wondered off toward the barn.

Jason went about the mundane chores of the barn as usual, expecting to spend the next two hours listening to the radio and talking to the cows. Little did he know that he was about to be paid a visit. Mike was on his way there.

Jason grabbed the milker and threw the hose over his shoulder so that it would not touch the ground and walked between two of the black and white cows and squatted down to fit the milker on the cow. Something caught his eye and as he looked under the cows’ stomach, he could see a pair of black rubber boots, covered in mud, coming through the milk room and into the parlor. At first Jason feared that it was his father, but he soon realized that the walk was different. Jason immediately stood up and stepped out from between the cows only to run into Mike’s chest. Both boys jumped, not expecting each other to be there. “Damn, ya little short shit!” Mike laughed. “Ya gotta grow a little so a feller can see ya standing tween them cows and ya don’t scare the hell out of ‘em .”

“Piss off ya fucker,” Jason retorted “What the hell are ya doing here anyway?”

“Talked ma sister inta milking tonight so I could come see what you was doing.”

“Same ol shit, milking the fuckin cows.” Jason’s mind was roaring with questions. Mike hadn’t been here while he was milking in some time, like three years. Why did he come? What was on his mind? He wanted to know the answers to his questions but knew that he could not ask. What if Mike found out how much he enjoyed what they had done the night before. No, he could not risk that. He would play it as cool as he could and let Mike explain. If he would. “What did ya have ta give yer sister to git ‘er ta milk for ya?” Jason asked.

“Aw, I gave her twenty bucks, and I promised not ta squeal on ‘er cause her and her boyfriend was making out at the end of the driveway last night, she really is a slut, ya know?” Mike laughed.

Jason heard the suction break on a milker and turned to fix it. He reached under the cow and pulled a teat cup off then raised up and smiled at Mike and said “don’t reckon she’s much different than her slut brother.”

“Yeah, shut up bitch.” Mike said as he flicked the rim of Jasons’ cap. “So whatcha doing tonight after ya git done here?”

“Nothing I don’t reckon, I was gonna call ya later and see what you were gonna do, but I guess since ya here now there probably ain’t no need in it now,” Jason laughed. “Ya got any ideas?”

“Well we still got the rest of that that Makers ta finish, and I found this in ma room this mornin.” With that Mike pulled out a half of a pint of Jim Beam from the crotch of his dirty blue jeans. He shook it in a circular manner so that the brown liquid sloshed inside the bottle.

Jason’s eyes had stayed a bit longer on Mike’s crotch than normal, and Mike noticed. Jason raised his eyes to the bottle and then to Mikes’ face, which was covered with an almost sinful smile. Jason realized that he had been caught in the act, and returned Mike’s smile. As the two boys stood there, only inches away from one another, the sexual tension started to build. They both felt it, and Mike broke the awkward but enjoyable moment. “Ya sucked ma dick good last night man.” Jason watched as Mike reached down and grabbed the growing bulge in his pants.

“Uhhh, thanks.” Jason stuttered, almost in shock as to what his friend had said. Nervously, Jason turned to take the milker off the cow that he was standing behind. As he squatted down beside the cow, Mike walked a bit closer and smiled his devilish smile and said “that don’t mean ya gotta drop to yer knees little man.”

“Yeah, fuck you too bitch.” Jason laughed, his face blushing.

“Well I need ta go, told pop that I would run by the store and git some of that calf feed for em. Meet me at the church tonight around nine, ok?” Mike turned and walked toward the milkroom door.

“OK, I’ll be there dude. Later!”

“Later!”

Jason’s mind raced to the point that he thought that he may have to sit down. Of all the reactions that he had expected from Mike, that was the least suspected. He thought about Mike’s hardon and how exciting it was to see it in the daylight. Jason continued with his chores, only they had a much more enjoyable tone. There was the feeling of anticipation and Jason could hardly wait to see Mike tonight. The butterflies in his stomach were making his head dizzy, yet he knew that there was not a more pleasurable feeling on this earth, than the one he felt at this moment. For some reason, he started to wonder if this feeling in his stomach was love. He had known Mike for some time and he had always enjoyed his company. He had even looked forward to the time they spent together, but this was different and he knew it.

The truth be known, this was just an eighteen-year-old guy, yearning for sex with another guy. Jason cared for Mike, but a long lasting relationship was unfathomed. Jason had no clue as to what he felt. Even though he suspected love, he knew deep down that this was more along the lines of lust. Somehow, thinking of these feelings as love helped make them easier to take. These were totally new sensations for Jason. He had never felt this kind of passion for anything.

Jason took the milker off of the last cow and followed her to the door. The cow slowed as she started down the ramp leading into pasture that adjoined the barn. Jason had his hand on the cow’s hip and he could feel the heat emanating from her body. The hair of her coat was smooth and shiny. Jason stood at the door of the barn and watched the cow pick her steps through the mud. He looked up and the stars were already beginning to shine. The moon had risen and it’s glow illuminated the white spots of the cows that stood in the night air. The dew had fallen and once again the grass was shining. In the distance, there was a dog barking. From this vantage point, not a single man-made light could be seen. Only the lights from the barn shown through the field, giving those shadows that are morbidly out of proportion. Jason looked at his shadow and it looked as though he were at least fourteen feet tall. He laughed to himself, he knew that he was way shorter than that. He turned and walked into the milk room. He looked at the clock on the wall. A quarter ‘til eight. Soon it would be time to meet Mike. His stomach fluttered at the very thought of it. Jason hurried through the rest of his chores and hurried to the house to get ready for his night.

As Jason neared the house, he could hear the radio going in the shed. He knew that his father was there. He walked by as quietly as he could. He did not want to get detained by some speech of hard work and a honest living. God knows he was sick of hearing that shit. He trotted across the yard and stepped onto the porch. He paused to scratch the dog’s neck and then went into the house. “Hey mom!” Jason said in a most chipper mood.

“Well who lit a fire under your ass?” His mom looked at him with a smile on her face.

“Nobody, just in a good mood I reckon. Is there something wrong with that?”

“No I don’t reckon. Where’re ya going tonight? You remember that we’re going to your grandma’s tomorrow? Don’t be out all hours of the night. Like last night. I swear, you boys can waste more time doing nothing than any two I’ve seen.”

Jason turned his back to his mother and smiled, thinking to himself that if she only knew how they had passed the time last night. “Yeah I won’t be.”

Jason kicked off his shoes and bounded up the stairs. He noticed that his mother had picked the clothes up out of the chair and folded them. And made his bed. He walked to the stack of clothes, snatched some items from it, knocking them over on the bed. He did not even turn on the radio. He had to be ready soon, no time for that now. He went down the stairs and into the bathroom and shut the door. As he stood in the shower, the hot water hitting his face, his stomach fluttered again. He could hardly wait. He hurried through his shower and got dressed. He kissed his mother on the cheek as he left and said “don’t wait up!”

Jason rounded the curve and there was Mike, waiting for him. Jason pulled up and Mike jumped in, with two bottles of whiskey. Their night had begun.

A couple of hours later, Mike had started to drive. They had both drank a generous amount, Jason more so than Mike. The night had went as usual, they drank, listened to music and talked about the usual stuff. Mike turned down the road and Jason’s heart jumped. They were headed back toward the church. Would it happen again tonight? God he hoped so. The conversation had tapered off. It seemed they both knew what needed to happen next. Jason watched as they approached the church but was surprised as they passed it by. “Where we going?” Jason asked.

“Aw I figured we’d run down to that farm pop bought. It’s down there on that dead end road. Not much traffic ya know.” Jason looked at Mike’s face and could see him wink at him and smile. Yes! Jason thought. The place was not far, but both boys rode in silence. Mike pulled the stick back and the green 4x4 light glowed on the dash. Jason could hear the mud splash and the road was quite rough. The boys pulled up to an old barn. Even if there was traffic on the road, they could not be seen. Mike turned the truck off and lit a cigarette and guzzled the last of the Jim Beam. Jason looked forward, the anticipation was more than he could stand, yet he kept his cool. Jason turned up the Makers Mark bottle and took a drink. The whiskey stung his throat and his eyes started to water.

“Well here we are.” Mike said as he exhaled. “Whatcha wanna do now?”

“Don’t know, whatcha got in mind?” Jason asked as he smiled at his friend, fully expecting his friend to ask for a blowjob.

“I wanna fuck you.” Mike said, staring intently at Jason.

“Gee man I ain’t sure I can do that, sounds kinda painful.”

“Aw c’mon. It won’t hurt. I’ll be real gentle.”

“Yeah well it ain’t that I’m worried about, yer dick is big man.”

“It ain’t that big. Sides, I know that you’d like it.”

Reluctantly, Jason gave in, fearing the pain that he was sure to experience. Both boys got out of the truck and Mike grabbed a blanket from behind the seat. He spread it out on the ground and started to undress. Jason followed his lead. The moon was shining bright and Jason could see the glare of it on Mike’s shoulders. Jason slid his soccer shorts off and stood there watching Mike, who was now totally naked, sitting on the ground and stroking his cock. Mike motioned Jason to sit. Jason lowered himself to his knees and looked Mike in the face, half with anticipation and half with fear. Mike said “what’s wrong man? Told you there ain’t nothing to worry bout.”

“That’s easy for you ta say, you ain’t about ta have a dick shoved in yer ass.” Jason laughed nervously.

“C’mon, turn around here and let me crack that ass for ya.” With that, Jason turned and put his back to Mike and stood on his hands and knees. He could hear Mike spitting on his dick. He himself had a raging hardon that ached. Mike spit in his hand and started rubbing Jason’s ass. Chills ran up his spine and Mike felt Jason shutter with sheer ecstasy. Slowly, Mike inserted his finger into Jason while he massaged his cock with his other hand. The sensation almost drove Mike to orgasm right there. The tightness and heat was incredible. He had been with several girls and none of them were ever this tight or hot. Jason closed his eyes and clinched his teeth. Mike’s finger felt like it was as big around as a baseball bat. His mind raced as he thought that if this was just his finger, what would his dick be like. Jason started to sweat, both from the heat of the moment and the whiskey. His head was spinning and he had to keep reminding himself that this was not a dream. Mike too, had started to sweat. He could hardly wait to fuck his best friend. The thought of it nearly made him nut on the spot. After what seemed hours, Mike said “ya ready man?”

“Ready as I’m gonna be” Jason said in a shaky voice. He heard Mike spitting in his hand again and felt the wetness on his ass. He heard the spit on Mike’s cock pop and crackle as he readied himself to penetrate. Mike was on his knees and he moved closer to Jason and held his dick straight out and pressed it against Jason’s ass. Jason dug his hands into the grass and stiffened his back to accommodate his friends’ wishes. Mike felt Jason’s heat on his cockhead and an instant smile came across his face. The first sensation of Mike’s cock entering his ass were wonderful. The pain soon followed. Jason moaned, half in ecstasy and half in pain. “Fuck man that fuckin hurts!” Jason said in a strained voice. Mike heard the words but was now obsessed with burying his cock as deep in Jason as he possibly could. Mike let go of his cock and grabbed Jasons’ narrow hips and began to push his cock in deeper. Jason squirmed and writhed under his friends’ onslaught but never once tried to pull away. Mike grabbed Jason’s’ shoulders and pushed the last few inches of his cock into his assaulted ass. Jason felt Mike’s pubic hair and his hips press against his ass, he knew that finally he had taken it all. The pain was so intense that he could hardly stand it. He did not want to pull away, yet he was afraid to move. He started to doubt that this was as enjoyable as he had once thought. The two boys were motionless for some time and Mike broke the silence when he said “damn yer ass if fuckin tight!”

“Yer dick is fuckin big as hell! I ain’t sure I can do this man.” Jason said in meek voice.

“Yer doing fine man. An ass this good, won’t take me long at all.”

Mike began to pull his cock out and then to gently push it back in. By this time, Jason had loosened up some and it began to get more and more pleasurable. In a matter of seconds, the sensation of having a cock in his ass was the best he ever imagined. Mike increased the pace as the two let out the sounds of sex. Grunts and moans filled the night air. Jason knew that Mike was getting close by his breathing. He remembered when they used to jack off and how his breath was always a sure indicator that he was about to blow. Suddenly, Mike let out a growl that must have come from his toes. He grabbed Jason’s shoulders and thrust his cock so deep into Jason that he nearly knocked his arms out from under them. Mike leaned down on top of Jason and wrapped his arms around his chest. Jason could feel Mike’s breath on the back of his neck and Mike squeezed his chest so hard that it was difficult to draw in the deep breaths that they both needed. Jason could feel Mike’s cock spasm inside his ass and he could feel Mike’s sweaty chest on his back. The two remained in this position for several minutes. Mike finally stood back up on his knees and sat back on his haunches, pulling Jason back with him never pulling an inch of his cock from Jason’s ass. Jason immediately began to beat off. He could feel the tingling of his battered ass and as the thought of Mike’s cock still tucked in his ass crossed his mind, he shot his load. Mike had his arms around Jason’s stomach and his head on Jason’s shoulder watching his friend jerk off. Mike felt Jason’s ass tense as he started to cum. A smile came across Mike’s face, one of satisfaction. He was afraid at first that he would hurt his best friend and that this would be the only time he would enjoy this. He realized now that Jason had enjoyed this immensely and that made him feel good. His friend had given him his ass and he had returned the favor by giving back lots of pleasure.

After a while the two pulled apart and lay on their back looking at the stars. They talked about college and cars and chores. They drank more whiskey and they laughed as they put their clothes back on. They did not talk about what had happened. Neither of them needed to. They had both wanted it to happen and they were glad that it did. They felt closer to one another now than they ever had.

Jason dropped Mike off at his car at Saint Ivo and drove down the road toward his house. The events of the evening flashed through his mind and he could not help but smile. Jason reached down and turned the radio up. He was driving a bit faster than he should have. When he glanced back to the road, there was an animal there, a big one. Jason swerved to miss the animal and everything went black. What seemed like hours later, someone was slapping his face. In a drunken stupor he looked up to see Jacob, his friend standing there. “What happened?” Jason asked in a pained voice.

“Man ya fucked up about five of yer dads fence posts.” Jacob said in worried tone of voice. “Yer dad is gonna crucify you!”

Jason climbed out of his truck and walked around the front of it. He could not believe his eyes. In the light of the headlights, Jacob noticed the huge gash in Jason’s forehead. “Man you are for real bleeding like a stuck hog.” Jacob adjusted Jason’s head to get a better view. Jason was in disbelief, his parents would not only crucify him...they would burn the corpse as well...

Thanks to Jacobs’ help, all of the alcohol bottles got disposed of and the rest of the night was a blur. Jason rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. 8:15, his parents had not awakened him to milk the cows. As he raised his hand up, he felt a sharp pain race through his whole body. This topped off with a hangover; this was going to be a shitty day...completely shitty.

Jason finally rolled out of bed and limped down the stairs and to the bathroom to have a closer look at his injuries. It was much worse than he had imagined. There was a deep gash cut in his forehead, both eyes were black and there were several other scratches around his face. His entire body ached. There was a large cut on his left knee and his ankle was really swollen. Damn, he thought to himself, how in the hell is one supposed to function this way?

Jason walked to the front door and saw his blazer sitting by the garage and decided he should go have a look at the damage, hopefully it was not that bad.

As he was inspecting the damage, Mike pulled up in his car. “Damn!

You fucked that one up good”

“I guess.” Jason said squinting at the morning sun. “Least it ain’t totaled though” “Well your fuckin face is. Dude you look like somebody beat the shit out of you” Mike said with a laugh.

“And I feel like it too.”

“Looks like I was just too much for ya last night huh? Gotcha all excited and look at what ya did.” Mike laughed. “Fuck ya! Asshole. It was that damned whiskey of yours. Got me drunk as shit! Jason glanced at Mike to see his killer smile and then he winked at him.

After a brief description of the prior night’s events, Mike said that he needed to get going, his dad would be expecting him back soon. Jason waved goodbye and limped to the front porch and sat down on the porch swing. A million things were rushing through his head at once. He was surprised to hear Mike talk so openly about their sexual activities, but he was excited none the less. He thought to himself about all of the girls that just swooned over Mike and laughed to himself as he thought about their reaction if they were to find out who Mike had decided to fuck instead of them.

Jason looked out over the hayfield. He marveled at the barn and it’s sharp red contrast to the green trees and grass that surrounded it. The sun was shining bright and the sky was a beautiful blue and there was not a cloud in sight. Jason glanced at the garage and noticed that his mom’s car was gone, guess they had already left for his grandmothers. Thank god he thought to himself, after what had happened there was no way that he could have handled seeing his extended family. Lady, Jason’s dog came up on the porch and hopped into the swing beside him. Painfully he threw his arm around the dog and sat watching the day. There was a slight breeze blowing from the south and he could here the buzz of the bees coming from the newly planted flowers that lined the front walk. It was truly a beautiful day.

A couple of weeks later, Jason’s wounds had healed and he had paid to have his blazer fixed from the money in his savings account. He was just finishing up the milking chores when Jacob pulled up. “Hey guy, what’s up?” Jacob called out.

“Not much, just finishing up. What are ya doing?”

“Well I just talked to Mike. He wanted to meet up to the church. I told him that I was going out with Jennifer tonight, but I told him that I would run by here and tell ya to meet ‘em up there about eight.” “All right, guess I’ll run up there. You gonna come later after ya through with Jennifer?”

“Well I don’t expect to be done that soon if ya get my drift.” Jacob said with a smile. “Might drive by your place though and see if you rearranged anymore fence.”

“Well I’ll try not...catch ya later dude.”

“Later.” Jacob climbed in his truck and drove down the lane. Jason wondered why Mike did not come himself, but he figured that he was busy or something. His stomach fluttered at the thought of being with Mike again. He hurried and finished the chores, eight would be here before you know it.

The night was warm and made warmer by the liquor. Once again, Jason and Mike sat in the graveyard at St Ivo. There had been no mention of sex, nor any move made. Jason was waiting on Mike’s move. The two boys sat in the truck for what seemed like forever before Mike spoke. “You think Jacob has ever fucked round with another guy?” “Don’t know. Never thought about it actually (which is a lie, I though about it a lot). Why?”

“Don’t know, just think he’s got a good looking ass, bet it might be as tight as yours.”

“Well, you know he did spend a lot of time with that guy Brian. People is always saying that he is a fag. You don’t reckon they think we are fags do ya?”

“Hell no. We don’t run around actin like girls and shit. We just like fuckin, and it just happens that we fuck each other and that we are guys. That don’t make us queers.”

The words hit Jason hard. That one issue had been stuck on his mind for some time. Was he gay or was he just fucking? He wanted to agree with Mike but something in his heart said that he was gay. Jason’s thoughts were interrupted as Mike took off his shirt. Mike looked over and smiled at Jason and said, “Speaking of fuckin, you wanna have some fun?” The moment Jason had been waiting for. He looked at Mike with a grin and said, “I thought that you would never ask” in his best high pitched voice. The two guys laughed and Mike opened his door and ran over to his car. Jason watched intently as Mike returned to the truck with something in his hands. “Whatcha got there man?”

“Just something to make this easier on us,” Mike said as he took another drink of the whiskey. “ I got some Vaseline and a blanket. I tore the fuck out of my knees last time, need some padding this time.” Mike laughed and hopped over the back seat.

Jason heard him spreading the blanket on the floor and he reached over and grabbed the bottle and took a rather large drink. His eyes watered and his throat stung and he shook his head to fight off the convulsions. He thought to himself that he was going to need this as he remembered the pain of the last assault Mike performed on his ass. He put the cap back on the bottle and climbed over the seat. As he dropped behind the second row of seats, he felt Mike’s smooth chest that was reclined against the side of the truck. Mike then stood suddenly and reached over the seat and grabbed the bottle of whiskey. He looked at Jason and said, “We might need this.”

Jason stood on his knees and took off his shirt. Mike reached out and playfully pinched his nipple. Jason unzipped his pants and started to slide them down over his ass. Mike did the same and Jason glanced over and saw that Mike was not wearing any underwear and he thought to himself how convenient. Jason rolled over and sat down and pulled his shorts off his feet. Mike had already taken his shorts off and as Jason sat down, Mike climbed in between his legs and looked into his eyes. “I’m gonna fuck you like my bitch tonight.” Mike then bent down and started to lick Jason’s chest. Though it was hot, the night breeze felt very cool on the wetness of Jason’s chest.

After a bit, Mike took Jason by the knees and pulled his head away from the back of the seat. Jason’s athletic flexibility allowed his knees to flex all the way up to his shoulders. He looked out the back glass and saw the stars shining and he heard the crickets chirping and a whip-or-wil sing in the trees. He looked into Mike’s face. There was his charismatic smile. Jason thought that that smile would get him anything. He saw the sweat forming on his Mike’s forehead and he smelled the whiskey on his breath. He saw Mike reach over and take some Vaseline out of the can and he felt the coolness as Mike spread it across his asshole. He felt Mike’s big finger slowly start to slide into his ass. Jason closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. Mike added another finger to loosen his friend up and then added another. Jason moaned slightly as Mike slid his fingers in and out. He could hear the Vaseline pop and crackle as Mike stroked his pulsing cock. Mike looked at Jason’s face and asked “are you ready big man?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be I reckon.” Jason laughed out loud as he said in fake whimpering voice, “be gentle.”

Mike smiled and pushed Jason’s legs up further, giving himself an easy shot at his ass. He pushed the head of his cock against Jason’s tight ass and inhaled. He started to invade and he felt Jason tense up. Jason prepared himself and he felt he ass stretch as Mike started into him. It seemed like forever but finally, Mike’s cock was buried in his ass. God, it seemed to have grown since the last time. Jason’s rapid breathing turned into a low moan as Mike started to pull gently out.
“You OK man?”

“Yeah, just takes some getting used to that’s all.”

Mike started to move in and out. “Fuck man, your ass is so tight! I could go right now.” Mike held out for as long as he could, but finally he blew his load and collapsed on Jason. There they lay, chest to chest then Mike slid his arms under Jason’s back and squeezed him gently. Jason lay there, feeling so complete under the weight of his best friend. His heart was racing at the tender moment that he and his friend was having. He could here Mike’s shallow breathing and he could feel Mike’s heart pounding against his own chest. He could feel Mikes cock getting soft inside him. Mike started to stir and sat up. “Your turn man”, Mike said as he reached down and took Jason’s dick in his hand. Without pulling his cock from Jason’s ass, he stroked his cock up and down. By now, Jason was so turned on that it took only seconds for him to shoot. Slowly, Mike slid his cock out and sat back against the side of the truck. He laid his head back on against the window and closed his eyes. Jason looked at Mike’s body that was shining in the moonlight. His legs were so long and muscular. His chest shimmered with sweat and he could see it gently rise and fall. His cock was laying to the left and his dark hair covered his balls to the point that they were unable to be seen. From this view, Mike’s hands and feet looked massive. Mike was tall and wore at least a size 13 in shoes. Mike’s hands were big, his fingers were thick and they were slightly callused. They intrigued Jason as he had always had a thing for hands and feet. Jason lowered his legs and began filtering through Mike’s pants to find his cigarettes. He pulled one out and lit it. He took a draw and passed it to Mike. “Damn that was good”, Jason said with a smile.

“You ain’t tellin me nothing I don’t already know. Got Vaseline all over me though. Damn it’s two o’clock already? Shit I gotta get going.” Mike reached over and unlatched the door and hopped out the back. He stood gently on the gravel. Jason could see his limp dick flop in the moonlight as he pulled his shorts up. Mike did not put on his shirt or his socks, he just slid his shoes on. He smacked Jason’s foot and said “I’ll catch ya later man.”

Jason said “later man” as Mike walked away. Jason was confused as to why Mike had left so quickly. He figured that it had something to do with that little show of emotion that they had shared. He watched Mike drive off and then looked down at the cum that was still sparkling on his hairless chest. He then picked up the bottle of Makers Mark and held it up to see how much was left in the bottle. He turned the bottle up and took another large drink as he used his T-shirt to wipe off his chest. He then slid into his jeans and slid out the back of the truck. The air was cooler and the stars were still shining bright. He closed the door of the blazer and turned the bottle up and finished the last of it. He tossed the bottle into the trees and climbed in the front seat of the truck. He paused for a moment and sniffed the air, he could still smell Mike.

His cock started to get hard again. He started the truck and started home, very cautiously this time.

The alarm clock was blaring as Jason rolled over and saw the time. “Four o’clock, God!” He said in a really aggravated voice. Jason sat on the side of the bed in an attempt wake himself for his morning chores. As bad as he felt, this was his favorite time of morning. Everything was so relaxed and peaceful.

Jason decided that he would walk to the barn. The gentle morning breeze felt good on his skin. The morning smelled of rain. There was no light, other than the moon and the stars. Jason gazed up at them as he hummed a Garth Brooks song. He thought to himself that he would soon be away from all of this. While he was excited to leave the farm, he was saddened at the same time. There may be no other times that he would feel this peacefulness. Jason reached down and patted his dog on the head and whistled so he would go off and start to get the cows up. Jason stood and watched the black and white dog disappear under the fence a little ways off. Then he started toward the dairy barn.

The door swung open and Jason walked in. He froze in his tracks as he heard a voice. At four in the morning, the last noise he expected in the barn was a human voice. His heart started to race, the voice was a mans’, and he was speaking in Spanish. Jason remembered that his dad and brother had hired some Mexicans to help with the tobacco but he had not anticipated that they would be in the barn.

Trying to ignore them Jason turned on the lights to the barn and began to assemble the milkers. He heard the dog barking and the familiar popping of the mud as the cows entered the holding pen. Jason walked out of the milk room to go open the parlor door to let the cows in and ran right into someone. A little startled, Jason jumped backwards only to see the man standing in his path. “Hola” the man said.

Jason having the benefit of Spanish in his sophomore year of high school responded with “hello, how ya doing?”

“Fine” the young man said with a deep accent. He smiled and walked into the milk room. Jason stood there with his mouth gaping open. The guy was so very attractive. He was tall with a broad chest and beautiful smile. Jason was snapped back to reality as two other Mexican men passed him. He did not see what they looked like; he was simply amazed at the beauty of the first man. Jason shook his head and went on with the morning chores, all the time thinking of the beautiful Hispanic man that he had run into earlier that morning.


“Jason! Come on and eat!”

“Yes mother! I’m coming!” Jason said with snarl while rolling his eyes. Jason came down the stairs and found his mother standing at the door.

“We are going down to the bottoms to start with that tobacco. Your dad said that you should get to painting the milk room. He left a check there on the table for you to run into town and pick it up Anderson’s.” “Yes mother. I’ll do it.” Jason said rolling his eyes again as he stuffed a sausage biscuit in his mouth. His mom left and Jason decided to catch some cartoons before he started into town. As he plopped down in to the chair and flipped on the television, the phone rang.

“Hey guy!” Came Mike’s voice.

“Hey man! What’s up?” Jason asked.

“Not much. Just waiting for dad to come back with the tractor so we can go cut tobacco. What are you going to do tonight?”

“Not sure for real. Figured that I might hang out some. You gonna be up at the church?”

“Don’t think so, I gotta date with Wendy.” That statement hit Jason like a brick. Mike had a date with a girl! He was enraged with jealousy. How the hell could he do that?

“Hey man that is pretty cool. How did you arrange that?” Jason asked superficially.

“Well you know that her brother and my sister are dating. She hooked me up.

So if I am lucky, I might be kinda late.” Mike laughed.

“Well if ya get back early, stop by the church, I will be around there somewhere I guess.”

“All right man, I might see ya later then. Have a good one.”

Jason could not believe that. As he sat in front of the television he sorted through his feelings. Wendy he laughed to himself. He thought that if she had known what Mike and he had done, she would want nothing to do with him. He was jealous, but satisfied that he had sex with Mike before she could, and that made him feel proud. Jason put the thoughts out of his head as he watched a bug’s bunny cartoon. Jason started to rub his crotch. One of his most enjoyable things was to masturbate in the house, somewhere other than his bedroom. The experience was rare as his mother or his sister were always there, not today, not now. His petting became heavier and his hands explored his young body. He shed his t-shirt. Jason pulled out his erection and started to masturbate, unaware that he was being watched. The chair that he was sitting in was sitting next to a window. In the height of his arousal, Jason glanced toward the window only to see a figure staring in at him. He started screaming and the figure took off running across the porch. Jason ran out onto the porch but there was no one to be found. Jason ran around to the back of the house, but still there was no one. A little panic stricken, Jason stood there wondering who the hell the person could have been. Whoever it was, they sure got an eye full. His stomach sank as he hoped that it had not been any of his sister’s children. God he would never be able to show his face again. A little shaken, Jason grabbed his shirt and buttoned his shorts. He jumped in his newly restored blazer and headed into town.

The breeze that blew through the truck was warm. The day was hot and humid. The kind of day that you sweat no matter if you do nothing. Looking out on the fields Jason could see the heat rising off of them. The fields have started to turn brown and yellow from the summer’s heat. The black plank fences were contrasted by the red gates. The big farmhouses and red and black barns dotted the landscape. Indeed there were more cows in this part of the country than there were people. It was too warm for animals to be out. There were a few birds singing and you could hear a tractor in the distance. Jason had never liked going into town. It smelled funny and the people were not as friendly. There was traffic and it seemed that they never rested. Even those kids that were his age seemed somehow different. It was always a huge relief to get back to the country.

Jason pulled onto a dirt road that led to the tobacco patch were his parents were working. As he popped over the hill he could see his brother’s truck as well as his parents’ truck. He looked out across the field of green tobacco and he could see them slowing cutting their way through the patch. Jason bounced across the ditch and parked his truck. Everyone in the patch was looking at him, as it was a very uncommon sight to see Jason in the tobacco patch, it was no great secret how much he despised it. “Hey dad, Steve sent this to you, he said that you ordered it or something.” Jason yelled.

“Well what the hell is it?” Jason’s dad yelled.

“Some piece for the plowing tractor or something, he didn’t say.”

“Well put it in the front seat of the truck and I will look at it later.

Did you get the walls painted in the barn?”

“No dad, I stopped by here first cause it was on the way home. I will get it done today though.” Jason rolled his eyes in disgust. He grabbed the part out of the truck and headed for his fathers’ truck. As he neared the truck he could see that one of the Mexican’s was sharpening his spear as he sat in the shade. Jason peered closer and he could tell that it was the nice looking one that he had literally run into this morning. He opened the door of the truck and he noticed that the guy was sitting there looking at him. Jason laid the part in the truck and shut the door and grabbed a Pepsi out of the cooler. “My name is Jason, don’t believe I caught yours this morning?”

“Si, mi llamo gustoph.” The guy replied.

“Si, hablo espanol un pequito.”

“Oh I see” Gus said in deep voice with a heavy accent. “I was late, sharpen knife,” he said with a laugh and holding the tobacco knife toward him.

“Really? Were have you been?” Jason replied, making conversation.

“Ah, your home. “

“Really? You guys really scared me in the barn this morning, I was not expecting anyone to be there.” Jason commented as he squinted looking across the field.

“Si, you mother, she ask me to mulch flowers by porch. I think I scare you again aye?” The man laughed. Jason looked at him in sheer terror. My god it had been him in the window. Jason was horrified. He stood there with his mouth hanging open while this beautiful specimen glared at him with a smile across his face.

“Uh, umm, shit! Look man sorry about that, I had no clue that anyone was about.”

“Oh is no problem, you young and strong. There is no problem, no one is to know.” As Gus stood up and flicked the bill of Jason’s hat. And Jason knew he must be seeing things but he could have sworn that Gus had rearranged his crotch and winked at him.

“Hey thanks man.” Jason stuttered. Jason walked back to his truck. He was so embarrassed that he could have dug a whole right there in the patch and crawled in it. This god of a man had seen him beating off and then had laughed in his face, called him young and may have even hit on him as a joke. Jason was sure that all three of the Mexican hired help would be poking fun at him now. Hopefully they would not tell any of his family.

Jason returned home and started to paint the walls of the cowshed. It was a pretty easy job. There was a fan and a radio so the day passed quickly. Around five Jason sent the dog after the cows and he started the milking chores again. Afterward Jason went to the house. As he came in the door he saw two of the Mexican help, Roy and Chico, were sitting at the table with Jason’s dad and brother and brother in law. “God what a mix.” Jason mumbled to himself. He quickly headed towards the stairs. He grabbed some clothes and then headed for the shower. As Jason rounded the doorway, once again he ran right into Gus’s chest. “Excuse me man.” Jason blurted out without thinking.

“Cuse me, amigo.” It was not what Gus had said, rather the way that he had touched Jason. Both hands on his hips with a gentle squeeze and one of his custom smiles. Jason stumbled into some flowerpot and into a chair. “You ok amigo?” Gus asked as he pulled Jason up out of the chair. There they were standing, face-to-face. Jason could feel Gus’s breath on his face and he could smell his cologne and even the soap that he had washed with. Before Jason could control himself his hands were on Gus’s hips as though they belonged there. Jason could do nothing, he was caught in Gus’s gaze. Jason tried to back up but Gus pulled him close again. Suddenly realizing that they were standing in the hallway, Jason pulled off and rushed into the bathroom.

“What was that about?” Jason asked himself in a low voice. Jason hurriedly showered. As he dressed in his clean clothes, he wondered if Mike would show up at the church. He had talked to Jacob earlier in the week and he said that he would probably be there. Not thinking, Jason ran out of the house in the darkness and walked toward his truck, only to find Gus standing there leaning against it. “Hey Gus. What’s up?”

“Nuhcing amigo. Where you go?”

“Oh I am going to meet some friends.”

“Come here, I need to show you something”

“Cool, what is it?” Jason was totally unprepared for what happened next.

He followed Gus around the tool shed. Gus stopped and turned toward Jason. Suddenly Jason felt very unnerved. His hands started to shake and voice was trembling. “What is it that you wanted me to see Gus?” Without warning Gus grabbed Jason and flung him to the ground. Jason tried to scramble to his feet but Gus was too quick and was on top of him. For some reason he didn’t scream, and truthfully he did not fight the onslaught as hard as he could have. Gus put his knees on Jason ‘s shoulders and unzipped his pants. Suddenly Jason had a big cock dangling against his face. With one thrust of Gus’s hips, Jason’s mouth was filled with the cock. Jason stopped fighting altogether and let Gus have his way. Jason’s eyes were watering and he was gagging as the cock was forced down his throat.

The night was quiet. Jason could hear the crickets in the grass and he could feel the coolness and dampness of the dew against his back. He could hear Gus’s heavy breathing and he could smell the fabric softener in Gus’s underwear. The moon and stars were shining down on them and Jason could see the sweat glistening on Gus’s face. As Jason lay there looking into Gus’s face, he noticed that as Gus wiped the sweat from his brow, he was wearing a wedding band. Suddenly Jason felt sick and started to struggle again. This guy had his nerve, to be married and probably have children and then dare force his cock in a guys’ mouth? No way! Jason tried to throw Gus off, but suddenly Jason felt Gus’s fist strike his eye. Stunned from pain and just the fact that this guy had enough balls to hit him, Jason settled down. Gus began to moan and Jason could feel his throat fill with cum. Gus, breathing shallow, stood up, zipped his pants up and walked off.

Jason rolled over and started to spit out cum, coughing and gasping for air around the thick fluid deposited in his throat. Wiping his face off, Jason got up off the ground; he had somehow cut his leg. Gus was nowhere to be seen. Jason limped to his truck and took off his t-shirt. It was stained and damp , so Jason started to wipe the blood off his leg with it. He tilted the rear view mirror and looked at his eye, it was already turning blue and swelling. : Damn!” Jason said as he smacked the steering wheel. He started the truck and drove away, all the time thinking about the encounter that he just had with Gus. He was a mixture of being pissed off and turned on, and a little afraid. He had not expected that to happen. Thinking back on it, he was very vulnerable at that point and Gus was much bigger than he. Jason thought about telling his parents of the encounter but then laughed. He would not tell anyone about the degrading experience. He would just try not to put himself in that position again. In two weeks, Jason would be off to Saint Catharine College and he would not need to worry about Gus anymore.

Jacob was waiting at the church as he said he would. Jason pulled up in his blazer. He got out of the truck and walked toward Jacob’s truck. Jacob could tell that he was really pissed about something. “Why the hell ain’t you wearing a shirt?” Jacob asked with a laugh.

“You don’t even want to know.” Jason said in a nasty tone.

“Dude you are bleeding! What the hell happened to you?” Jacob asked as he flipped on the inside light in order to inspect Jason’s wound more closely. “Seems like every time I see you, you are bleeding in some way,” Jacob laughed.

“I am so pissed! You got whiskey?” Jason grabbed the bottle and took a huge drink out of it. It burned his throat and made his eyes water. He shook his head violently as he force the burning liquid down his throat. “I hate my fucking life.” Jason sat back in the seat and looked out the window into the night.

“Well, are you gonna tell me what happened to you or what?” Jacob asked impatiently.

“Look dude, I got in a fight with one of those Mexicans my dad hired. Now can we drive please?” Jason said in a hostile tone.

“Fine. Don’t get emotional dude. What were you fighting over?”

“Man you would not understand if I told you. Besides, it is kind of embarrassing.” Jason said as he used his t-shirt to wipe some blood off of his leg.

Jacob started the truck and drove off down the road. The night wind felt good on Jason’s body. The whiskey had made him sweat already. He looked over at Jacob who was taking a drink from the bottle. His hands were so big. It was the one feature that Jason had always admired most about Jacob. He was a good-sized boy. At least 6 foot. He wasn’t too muscular, but not a body builder either. He had blond hair and it was cut short. He was quite handsome Jason thought. Jason was lost in his gaze as Jacob interrupted him. “You falling in love or something dude?” Jacob laughed.

“You wish.” Jason snapped as he turned his head.

“Dude you are absolutely no fun tonight. What is up with you?”

Jacob asked in an aggravated tone.

“I just had something happen to me that is really embarrassing and I really don’t want to talk about it ok.”

“Well that is cool, but can we please have a good time anyway.”

Jacob shot back.

“Sure.”

The night passed. Both boys drank and laughed. Soon Jason had forgotten about his ordeal with Gus. He had not been out with Jacob in a while and the two had a lot to catch up on. Jason learned that Jacob and his girlfriend were not getting along well. They had not seen one another in a week, and all they did was argue over the telephone. Jacob also told Jason that he had signed up for the navy. He would leave after Christmas. Jason and Jacob had always been good friends. Jacob lived next to his grandparents, and they would play all the time. Jason thought about how Jacob had changed over the years. He used to be a skinny little kid with a big mouth. Now he was a man, much larger and just a little more mature. Looking at him now, he was a very nice looking boy. Jason felt himself attracted to his manliness. Unlike he and Mike, Jason had never tried anything sexual with Jacob. No reason really, he had just never thought about him in that manner. Now he caught himself wondering what he would look like naked and what it be like to have sex with him. Jason was brought out of his trance when the truck started bouncing. Jacob had pulled off the road onto a little dirt road that led back into some trees. They had come there many times before to drink and talk.

Jacob had had a rough life. His father had abandoned his mother just after he was born. Between boyfriends, his mother had to work, so she was hardly ever around. The second time his mother got married, the jerk that she married was totally abusive to both he and his mother. Because of this, Jacob spent a year in a home for troubled teens. His mother never even visited him. If it had not been for Jacob’s grandmother, he doubted that Jacob would have made it this far. His mother had left. Who knows where she is. He lived with his elderly grandparents. They were real nice people, but they were old. Needless to say, Jacob did pretty much whatever he wanted.

Jacob parked the truck and opened the door. The night sky had darkened with rain clouds. The wind had picked up some. Jason followed Jacob around the back of the truck and sat on the tailgate beside him. They had both consumed generous amounts of liquor and were feeling really well. Jacob started the conversation. “So, what happened to you tonight. Before you got to the church. What the hell happened? Why ain’t you wearing a shirt? And how did you cut your leg? Man, your fucking eye is black as hell. Who were you fighting with anyhow?”

“Damn, ain’t you full of questions. It was one of those guys that dad hired to help with the tobacco. Gus is his name. He hit me in the face and while we were scuffling on the ground, I cut my leg. Nothing big.” Jason tried to sound convincing.

Jacob knew that he was holding something back, but he didn’t know what. “Well what were you all fighting over?”

“Who knows, he just attacked me when I came out to my truck.”

Jason offered.

“You mean he just jumped on you for no reason? I find that hard to believe.”

“Yeah I guess, I don’t know what the hell was wrong with him.” Jason started to squirm. He knew that Jacob did not believe him. He was caught in Jacob’s stare. He felt his heart flutter. Hopefully he would drop it now. Just then, Jacob reached out and touched his face.

“What is that shit on the side of your face?” Jacob asked. Jason hopped off the tailgate and walked around to the mirror. He reached in the cab and turned on the light. He was mortified at what he saw. All over the side of his face and in his hair, was dried cum. Glowing white and matted in his hair. He saw Jacob’s reflection behind him in the mirror. “Dude, looks like somebody shot off on your face.” Jacob laughed as he reached out and touched Jason’s face.

Jason turned toward Jacob, looking like a deer in headlights. The look that he gave stopped Jacob’s laughter and nearly stopped his heart. Jacob’s mouth fell open as he realized that was what happened. Gus had made Jason suck him off. Jacob felt like an idiot. No wonder he didn’t want to talk about it. And that comment he had just made. Damn. How insensitive could he have possibly been? Standing there looking at Jason’s little frame and that look of horror on his face, he could only imagine how his friend felt after having something so humiliating happen to him. Jacob stuttered and said, “Man, I am so sorry. I was being a real asshole.”

Jason was stunned. Jacob had guessed exactly what happened, on accident no less. His head started to spin and he could feel himself sliding down the side of the truck into the wet grass. He heard the thunder in the distance and felt the light rain start to hit his naked chest and shoulders. He felt like crying or running away, but he could do neither. It was like his body was numb. His leg ached as well as his eye. He felt sick to his stomach. A secret that he had carried for so long, and one of his best friends was getting dangerously close to its discovery.

Jacob stood over him, wondering what he should do or say; finally he broke the deafening silence. “Jason, you ok man? Look I’m real sorry about that. I had no idea. Come on man, its starting to rain, lets head to the barn over there.” Jacob helped Jason up and they walked to the barn. Jacob nearly had to pack Jason. It was like his legs wouldn’t work. Jacob wondered what had really happened.

After what seemed like hours of silence, Jason started to speak. It was like he was not in control of what he was saying. For so long he had these feelings pent up inside him and now, he exploded. “Jacob, tonight as I was coming here, Gus took me around behind the shed and made me suck him off. I tried to fight, but he was too big. The worst part is, I liked it. I have always liked it.”

Jacob’s mouth was hanging open. If he had heard his friend right, he said that he liked to suck cock. That hit him in the face like ice. “Well, umm, shit. Look Jason I don’t know what to say? I mean if you like it, I guess you just do. Maybe you are just confused. I mean how do you know that you like it? Well I mean I guess you know you like it or not but, damn...why would you like that? You know he took advantage of you and maybe it is like post battery trauma or something.” Jacob realized that he was rambling, but he did not know what to say. He had no experience with emotions, much less gay emotions, from his best friend.

“I don’t think so.” Jason said in an annoyed voice. “This was happening before Gus. This has been going on since I was like 12. I am pretty damned sure that this is what I like.”

“Well how can you know what you like after a one time thing? I mean you have never had sex with a girl, how can you say that is what you like?”

“Well I just know, I don’t want to have sex with a girl, and I have done it with more than one guy.” Jason said without thinking.

“What? With who?” Jacob asked immediately.

“I don’t think that you really want to know that.”

“Do I know him? C’mon you gotta tell me who it is.” Jacob was laughing now, almost begging Jason to tell him who his partner was.

“It ain’t right to say who man. All you need to know is that I know. Give me a drink of the whiskey. I need some help with my sanity.” Jason said, reaching for the bottle of Makers Mark.

“Well dude, I mean I just don’t know what to say. Have you done other things with guys. You know like, you know, riding punk or something?” Jacob asked in a confused curious voice. That was another reason Jason enjoyed the company of Jacob. There was never any telling as to what would come out of his mouth.

“What about riding punk? You are a fucking moron. I mean for real, you are ate up with the dumb ass.” Jason exploded with laughter.

“Oh excuse the hell out of me. Do you enjoy anal sex?” Jacob said in his best British accent. “Like I know what to fucking say. You the one that likes to do it...or whatever you like to do with another guy.” Jacob pushed Jason’s small body and tipped him over with ease. The two sat there in silence for a bit, listening to the rain hit the tin roof of the barn.

“Yeah.” Jason’s voice cracked a little.

“Yeah what?” Jacob looked at Jason like he was a fool.

“I have rode punk.” Jason started to laugh uncontrollably again, quieting long enough to take a drink of whiskey. He was really getting drunk now. He could tell that his coordination was getting farther and farther off.

“You drunk fucker. You are about tanked. “ Jacob snagged the bottle from Jason’s hand. He shook his head and turned the bottle up and took a large drink. The two sat there again in silence. Jacob was thinking about what Jason had said. He really didn’t understand it, but Jason was his friend and he knew that he had to try and help him through this troubled time. He finally broke the silence. “So, you gonna tell your parents? You know about you liking to do guys?”

Jason looked at Jacob and said, “Are you fucking retarded? Of course I am not going to tell them. My dad would kill me or something. My mom, well she would probably yell me to death. No way can I tell them, or anybody. You’re just my bitch that’s why I told you.” Jason laughed as he elbowed Jacob in the side.

“Yeah I got your bitch. You little smart mouth fucker.” Jacob laughed as he pushed Jason over again.

Suddenly the two boys heard something coming around the barn. Then they heard a voice, it was Mike. “I thought that I would find you ladies here. What the fuck are you all doing?”

“Hey man. Just having a heart to heart. What’ up with you?” Jacob asked. “Where the hell were you at tonight? “ Jacob wasn’t a nuclear scientist, but he could read people pretty good, probably because of the abuse that he received when he was a kid. As he turned to look at Jason, and he saw the look on his face, he realized, to his horror that Mike was the guy that Jason had been fucking around with. He started to squirm. He was not sure what he should say or do. He finally realized that Jason was really uncomfortable, but Mike was just like he usually was. He thought to himself that that probably meant Mike wasn’t all for anybody knowing. Jacob made a mental note to protect his friend as best he could.

“Dad had some stuff that he needed me to do. I thought that he was going to keep me there all night. Brought us another bottle though. Damn Jason you look drunk already.” Mike laughed as he took a drink of whiskey.

“What time is it?” Jason asked.

“About 11 o’clock. Why? You got somewhere to be?” Mike asked.

“Just wondered. How did you know where we were?” Jason asked as he took another drink from the bottle.

“Just figured if you all weren’t at the church, you’d be here.” Mike said. He sensed that Jason was uncomfortable, but couldn’t figure out why.

The three boys went on drinking and soon they were all laughing and having fun. Jason soon became more comfortable with the fact that Jacob knew his secret. In a way it made him feel much better, as though he didn’t have to carry the entire load anymore. Jacob was becoming more comfortable with the things that Jason had told him. He was honored with the fact that Jason had trusted him enough to confide in him. Jacob didn’t quite understand it, but Jason was his friend and that meant he had to be there. Jacob furthermore couldn’t understand Mike having sex with Jason and with girls too. It didn’t make since, unless Mike was lying about the girls that he claimed to be with. Still, Mike just didn’t seem to be ‘like’ Jason. Jason’s small frame somehow made it easier to think that he could be gay. Maybe because he assumed that gay guys were somehow weaker. Mike wasn’t that way. He was big, strong and very boyish acting. Jason was boyish as well, but he seemed somehow more in tune with his emotions, which made him different from other guys his age.

The three boys drank and joked up into the morning. Sometime around 1 a.m., the liquor overtook Jason’s memory. The next thing that he remembered was the sun shining in his eyes. Jason squinted and started to stir. Jason realized that he was not in his room, but he could not remember exactly where he was. Jason rose up on his elbows and tried to look around. His head was pounding and his eyes were blurry but he recognized this place. It was Jacob’s room. Jason looked at the person next to him, it was Jacob. Jason thought to himself how nice it was for Jacob to still be able to sleep next to him after what he had shared the night before. Jacob started to stir and then rose up on his elbows and looked at Jason. “How you feeling man?” Jacob asked with a chuckle, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Like shit man, I fucking ache all over and I think that a bus sneaked in here last night and ran over me. How the hell did I get here?” Jason asked, grimacing in pain.

“Dude you were wasted last night. By the time we got back to your truck, you couldn’t even walk. I had to carry in the house, so I brought you here. I sure in the hell wasn’t taking your drunk ass to your house and let your mom and dad crucify us both. Mike wanted you to go home with him, but after what you told me last night, I figured that you two didn’t need to be together. You know he’d be on your ass like nothing happening.”

Jason’s mouth fell open. “How did you know it was Mike that I had sex with?”

“I could tell when he got there last night. You just clammed up and I just realized that is was him that you’d been doing. Last night when you were drunk, he was making all of these dick sucking comments. So I figured that I had better take care of your drunk ass so that you didn’t get fucked over. No pun intended.”

“Well I appreciate that, but you see that I am already screwed. It is 10 a.m. in the morning. I was supposed to milk. My parents are going to kill me and bury me in the yard. I guess that I had better get home so that I can be murdered.” Jason started to get out from underneath the blanket and realized that he was naked. He immediately looked over at Jacob who was standing next to the bed stretching. He was naked as well. Jason’s mind started to race. Had he and Jacob done anything last night? Surely not. “Umm...dude, why ain’t we wearing clothes?” Jason asked in a nervous voice.

“You wanted to sleep that way and I always sleep that way.” Jacob offered nonchalantly.

“Well umm, did we like do anything or anything?” Jason asked.

“I was a perfect gentleman I have you know.” Jacob joked as he through a pillow at Jason.

“Man I’m glad to hear that. For a second there I was afraid. Well that we may have, I mean...well you know.” Jason breathed a sigh of relief.

“Dude, I didn’t say that you were a gentleman. But I enjoyed it for real. It was kind of freaky.” Jacob laughed as he arranged his crotch.

Jason nearly fell off the bed. What had he done? He simply could not believe it. What a night...

The lightening was really bad. I could here it sizzle as it hit the field outside, not far from the barn at all. I could see the blue flash between the cracks in barn. The thunder roared and boomed up through the hollows of the farm. The rain was pouring out of the sky like mad. All in all, a typical summer thunderstorm in Kentucky.

The cows were standing in their stanchions. I had not started the milking equipment because if the lightening ran in, it could fry them and me too. So who wanted that? I sat there in the milk barn, waiting on the storm to pass. I looked over at the clock and it was 5:30. I wandered what Jacob and Mike were doing. I guessed that I would see them at the church that night. I hadn’t spoke to Jacob much since the night that I spent at his house. I am not sure at all what had happened there that night. When I asked Jacob what happened, he just smiled, giggled and said that he didn’t kiss and tell. Needless to say that this was not helping me to figure out where we stood with one another.

The storm was just about over, the rain was falling gently now and the thunder boomed in the distance. I flipped the switch and heard the milk pump start. It was a familiar sound, and I stood there for a second and thought. In two weeks, I would be gone to college. I would hear this pump on the weekends, but not as often as I used to. My heart sank a little. It was the small things like that I would miss. I shook it off and grabbed the milkers and went into the parlor.

Milking went as usual that night. The cows were wet and that made everything a little more nasty than usual, but nothing big. There was one cow that had just had a calf. We couldn’t milk her yet, so she was still in the stall with her calf. I went into the stall and saw that the calf had finished with his supper, I grabbed the cow’s halter and lead her out of the stall. We walked through the parlor. I wasn’t paying particular attention to much, just going about my mundane chores. As we walked across the concrete, going towards the door, a shovel that was hanging on the wall fell and crashed into the floor, right behind Buttercup, the cow. It scared the hell out of both of us, her more than me. She took off, running toward the door. The concrete was slick with the recent rain and mud that the cows had tracked in. I slipped and fell. Buttercup took it upon her self to run over top of me and out the door.

All that I remember was that I saw some stars. I raised up to see the cow bouncing across the mud out behind the barn. “Fucking bitch cow.” I muttered. My hand was hurting something awful. I looked at it, it was turning black and blue and it was swelling quite a bit. I stood up, and leaned against the wall. The pain in my arm was something awful. I gritted my teeth and pulled the door shut. It was still raining as I made my way, as softly as I could to the house. I came in the front door as I heard my mother screech about all the mud on my clothes. She saw my arm and gasped. I looked down at it and it looked pretty bad in the light. Mom grabbed her purse and we headed to the hospital.

Just my luck, it was broken. My right hand at that. How the hell was I supposed to do anything now? At least it got me out of the milking chores for a couple days. I had a cast on it and it was pretty unattractive. In a few days I realized that there was a great need for two hands. One of the most inconvenient things that I noticed was the inability to jack off. It was hard enough to use the bathroom. It was hell.

About four days later, my dad figured that I could get back to the milk barn. I grumbled a bit, but decided that I didn’t want to hear his mouth. It was hard doing all the lifting, but I relied on my left hand and pretty soon I was readjusted and getting along pretty good.

Anyone who has been in Kentucky in August knows how miserable it can be, the humidity was high and it was at least 95 degrees. I was sweating like mad and all the mud and cows weren’t helping things much. I had squatted between two of the cows and I was taking off the milker. It took a bit longer than usual with my cast. I heard the door open in the milk room and figured that it was my dad or mom coming to check on me. My mom had been a wreck since I had been trampled and made up so many excuses to come to the barn, something she had never done before. I had managed to get the milker off the cow, but it was full of milk and it weighed a good thirty pounds. I lugged it over with my left hand and stood up. It was Mike. He was standing there smiling that same luring smile and shaking his head. “What’s up clutz? I heard that some freak over here didn’t know how to get out of the way of stampeding cattle.” He laughed.

“Yeah piss off you fucker.” I countered. “What the hell are you doing? Don’t you have something else to do?”

“Naw, dad and mom went to some family thing up in Ohio somewhere. Figured since you was such a little weakling, I would wonder over here and give you a hand.”

“Aw well ain’t you the sweetest fucker in existence.” I shot back.

“Who the hell is in Ohio that your redneck family knows?”

“Some aunt, or cousin or something. Never fucking heard of em. Alls I know is that I got the house to myself and a nice big bottle of Makers. I was gonna ask for a hand job, but since you broke your hand then I guess you’re outta luck.” Mike laughed and smacked the brim of my ball cap.

“Here fucker, take this and dump it in the cooler.” I handed him the milker.

That was one thing that always amazed me about Mike. He was so cocky. He even assumed that me giving him a hand job was my treat, not his. I guess he knew that I was hooked on him and that I wouldn’t say anything. But I knew what was going on. I liked his cocky attitude, so I let him be.

My chores went along faster than usual with Mike’s help. When we were done, I stopped by the house to tell my mom were I’d be. Then we took off to Mike’s house. I hadn’t been there in awhile, but most everything was the same. I had left my blazer at home and rode over with Mike. Deep down I was excited at the thought of actually having Mike in a real bed. My stomach fluttered every time I thought about it. But I tried to put that out of my mind, for the time being anyway.

Mike flipped on the television and I plopped down in the chair with my leg draped over the arm. Mike bounced down on the couch. There was a baseball game on and we sat there in silence for little while, watching the game. Mike jumped up and ran into his room and returned with a bottle of whiskey. “Its drink time...ya think?” I shook my head and hopped out of the chair and we headed to the kitchen.

We had taken a couple shots a piece. I was starting to feel really warm inside when Mike spoke up. “You seen Jacob?” He had a little smirk on his face, one I only saw when he was teasing me.

“No.” I responded.

“Well I ran into him this morning. We had a nice big chat.” Mike started to giggle. I felt like crawling under the table. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. I made a mental note to kill Jacob the next time I saw him. We continued our shots and before I knew it, my head was swimming. I could tell that Mike was getting a little bombed too because his speech was starting to slur. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I was still running through my mind what Mike had said earlier. I wondered what Jacob had really said, but I knew that I would never get the true story from Mike. I brushed it off as best I could and joined him again in the kitchen. We drank and laughed the rest of the night, so much so that parts of it were erased by the whiskey.

I woke up and looked at the clock. It was almost three in the morning. I raised up and realized that I was in Mike’s bed. The television was on, but just static. I rubbed my eyes and looked over. Mike was there beside me. I looked at him. He was almost angelic while he slept. His dark hair was a little mussed, his mouth barely open so that his front teeth were showing just a bit. He didn’t have a shirt on and his big hand was draped across his chest. His skin seemed to glow in the pale light of his room. My eyes followed his body downwards. His flat stomach gently rose and fell. There was no hair there. The blanket was covering his crotch, but I could see a small lump there. His feet and calves were uncovered. I couldn’t help it, but there was just something erotic about a man’s hands and feet. Mike’s fingers were long and thick, the skin was rough with all the farm work, and his fingernails were trimmed short. His feet were pale in comparison. They hardly ever saw the sunlight. His feet were wide and strong looking and the skin was soft and smooth like silk, his toes were wide. He was masculinity at its finest. My eyes returned to his face. He was a beautiful person, and it was at that moment that I knew what love was. It was true, I had tried to pretend that it wasn’t, but what I felt for him was love. I stared at his face for quite some time and then suddenly something happened. I knew what was going on, but it was like something else was controlling my body. Sparks went through my body as my lips touched his. I paused briefly, reveling in the feeling that I was experiencing. I pulled back and was shocked back to reality when I saw that his eyes were open. We looked into one another’s eyes. I think that he could see the love I had for him. It was a moment that words would have ruined. Our eyes peered at one another. It was like a really bad romance film, but time was standing still. I searched his dark eyes for what he was feeling, and I was sure that I saw his love for me as well. Our upbringings made it hard for either of us to voice it, but in intimate times like that, you cannot mask the message that your eyes send.

As the emotion rushed through my body, Mike did a very unexpected thing. He reached up and grabbed the back of my head and pulled my lips to his. I was shocked at first but then I submitted to his request. We kissed for what seemed like hours. Mike rolled me over onto my back and we laid stomach to stomach, his tongue in my mouth. I was in heaven. I could feel his hard dick pressed against my thigh. Mike was somewhat taller than me and our parts weren’t always in a matching position. My hands were all over his back, I could feel his muscles flexing. I slid my hands down to his ass and pulled him as close to me as possible. My cast got in the way, but I managed as best I could to keep the touch soft. I could smell him, his bed and room smelled like him. His scent was mixed with soap and deodorant. His skin was soft and cool to the touch. It was actually cold in his room because of the air conditioner, but I was on fire on the inside. Mikes hands slid down my sides and onto my ass. Mike used his knees and to spread my legs apart and sat up. He gave me a quick smile and leaned over and picked up a bottle of lotion up from the floor. I smelled it’s scent as he applied it to his crotch. I heard the crackle of the lotion as he massaged his cock. I sat up and took his nipple into my mouth. He kept stroking himself and threw his head back. I pawed at his chest like a mad person, he responded with deep breaths and moans. I fell back to my elbows, as I knew what he wanted. He grabbed my ankles and put me into position. I felt him pushing into me. I clenched my teeth at the pain. He went slow, but I would have taken any amount of pain to please him at that moment. I grew used to his intrusion and soon, I was so turned on that I could hardly handle it. I hooked my knees over Mike’s shoulders and he made love to me as though we were never going to be together again. I gazed into his eyes as he pleasured the both of us. Mike wrapped his forearms under my shoulders and grabbed me, holding me tight. I wrapped my legs and around his waist and I pulled his face close and kissed him. At that moment we both exploded, me between us and he inside me. We were both out of breath and panting like rabid dogs. He collapsed on top of me and I felt so secure with his weight on top of me, like the world was problem free. We both drifted into sleep.

I woke with my face against Mike’s chest. His breathing was so peaceful, his arms wrapped around me. I ran through my mind the events that had taken place. I had never known Mike to be that gentle and loving. It was a side of him that scared and fascinated me. Till that day I had only fucked, but never made love. The feelings were nearly more than my brain could process. I wondered what time it was, but hesitated in breaking our embrace. Reluctantly I did, and it was 5:30. I realized that I had to go and milk. As I rolled to the side of the bed, Mike roused up. “Hey dude, where ya going?”

“I gotta go milk.” I said as I rubbed my eyes. My body ached because of the whiskey that I drank. I stood up and stretched and turned to look at him in the bed. He was yawning and had his hands behind his head and under his pillow. He looked at me sleepily. His nipples showed in the light. “You gonna get up and take me back?”

“Why don’t you take my truck, milk and then come back.” Mike flashed his beautiful smile at me again.

“Sure, but why would I want to come back here for?” I tried to play dumb, to see if he would say what I wanted him to.

“Cause I am going to need some breakfast you bitch, and I don’t feel like cooking.” He smiled. Though he didn’t say it, he wanted me to come back for a repeat performance. I realized that this was something that he and I both had trouble communicating about. So I decided that I would leave the words out and follow the body language.

I searched for my clothes, some of which were strewn into the hall. I walked over to where he was laying and twisted his nipple gently and told him that I would see him later. I swiped his keys off the kitchen table and bounded into the morning darkness. The stars were shinning brilliantly. The air was cool, but sticky. The moon cast a pale light across the lawn. What a beautiful morning it was indeed.

I was on cloud nine. The night that I had spent with Mike was the most wonderful night of my life. I felt a connection with him that I had never felt with anyone else. It was almost as if I had been alone until that moment when we fell into one another’s arms. Mike and I had had sex several times before, but this time things were different. Before, it was just movements to get our rocks off. Last night, it was emotional and intimate, something that didn’t happen much within my family.

Now maybe I was just thinking too much, or maybe it was meant to be that way, but as I sat in the milk barn, reviewing in my mind the events that had happened the night before, I realized that I had crossed a line. At least when Mike and I were having sex, I could explain my feelings with the need for sex, I could justify my attraction to him by being a horny teenager. Now, my heart was saying something different. It was like permanent butterflies in my stomach. No man-made substance could be that intoxicating. That very intoxication is what worried me most though. My heart was now telling me that there was something more than sex. I was coming nearer to the fact that I would soon have to face my feelings and my sexuality, something that I really had no intention of doing.

The milking chores went smooth that morning. Around noon I headed off to the back pasture to fix some fence that a neighbor’s cow decided to tear down. I walked along a narrow cow path that led to the creek. The giant Oak trees were gently swaying in the summer wind. In the heat of the day, not many living things were active. The grasshoppers buzzed to and fro as I disturbed them by walking down the trail. I saw the cows in the shade at the bottom of the hill, some were laying down, some standing. They chewed their cud and swished their tails, not paying much attention to the fact that I was there. I stopped about half way down the hill and from my vantage point the view was exquisite. The grass had yellowed some under the intense summer sun. The pasture was spotted with red and white clover, yellow dandelions and the occasional daisy. The cows had mowed the grass short, allowing the rocks that were scattered across the field to shine like gems in the sun. I turned and looked back up the hill, from that viewpoint, the sky contrasted the pasture in an almost religious manner. The sky was so blue that one needed to squint to look at it. The smells of nature were overwhelming, the sweetness of the grass was intense and the scent of the cows danced on the wind. Though one might not think a cow could possibly smell good, to those from a farm, the smell is comforting because of its familiarity. I watched some sparrows dancing on the limb of a small tree nearby, they chirped excitedly over some thing that obviously excites sparrows. I realized that I was smiling at the bounty of nature before me. I laughed to myself, thinking that I must look like some kind of dork standing in the middle of the field gawking at things like I had never seen any of them before. Guess you could say that I was just stopping to smell the roses.

In two weeks I would leave for college. I was excited but a little afraid as well. I had spent my entire life on this farm and it was all about to end. I felt what might possibly be called gloom at the fact that my life would soon change. I had always had reasons for not being able to go and try new things, I had to work on the farm, in a short while I would be stripped of that excuse and would be forced to enter the “outside” world and fend for myself. Quite a daunting task to a young man like myself. As I continued down the path, my mind wandered to Mike. I giggled like a child at the intense feelings that our relationship gave me. I was starting to confront the fact that I liked men and I was comforted that Mike would be there to go through all these new feelings with.

I arrived at the fence that needed mending. Armed with a hand full of steeples and a hammer, I set to work repairing the fence. I couldn’t have been there for five minutes when I heard footsteps approaching me from behind. I turned to see Julie, a girl that I went to high school with walking down the trail. It was a hot day, and I had chucked my shirt off and I was sporting a pair of camouflaged pants and work boots. I suddenly became uncomfortable about being half undressed. Julie and I had talked some in school, we had even kissed a couple of times, and somehow I knew her intentions were to get a little closer to me. I smiled at her as she hopped across the rocks in the creek. We talked for a bit as we sat in the grass, next to the creek under the shade of a big Sycamore tree. I was aware that she was sitting really close to me and I could even feel myself acting differently as she slowly reached over and touched me on the leg. Her brown eyes pierced mine and I was like a deer in headlights. Now you would never believe this in a hundred years, but Julie and I sat, talked some more and before I knew it, we were rolling around on the ground kissing like mad. Events unfolded and it turns out that the day after my passionate night with Mike, I lost my virginity to a girl, Julie.

While it physically felt okay, my mind and heart wasn’t in it. As we were getting dressed, I noticed two big ruts in the ground where I had dug the heels of my boots in. I laughed a little at the strangeness of the situation. She was totally unaware of my inner turmoil. We talked casually as I finished repairing the fence, then we walked back towards my house. Julie left soon after we arrived at my house. She kissed me good-bye on the cheek and I sort of stood there in a daze. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I was so confused. I had sex with Julie, not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. All the other guys in school talked about having sex with girls, so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. Now I just felt like a piece of crap. Whatever kind of relationship I had with Mike, having sex with someone else couldn’t be good for it. On top of that, I had been as intimate as a person could be with a girl, that I didn’t want and that I used as some sort of experiment to see what other guys were really going on about. It confirmed that I definitely preferred men, but that only served to make things worse with my feelings. My head started to spin and I felt as though I may be sick to my stomach. I plopped down under the tree in the front yard and watched the cows across the road. If only my life could be that simple, eat grass and sleep. Some species have all the luck.

That night, as I was milking, Mike popped in to say high. As I looked him up and down, that intense sensation of adrenaline rushing through my body returned. I could smell him, and it was driving me mad. I instantly became hard. Mike noticed and couldn’t pass up a chance to harass me on my obvious willingness to please. He laughed and tweaked one of my nipples, telling me to calm down, I would have a chance to ride him soon. I laughed nervously and told him to fuck off, but deep down I knew that he had my number. I leaned against the wall as he came closer to me. I felt his hand slide onto my crotch and I closed my eyes as his lips met mine. His tongue slid inside mouth and I sucked on it ever so gently. He pulled back and then leaned in and whispered in my ear that he couldn’t wait to get me in his bed again. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and ear and it seemed as though I was paralyzed. I had no words to counter, so I stood there looking up into his face. He was truly a beautiful creature. Of all the things that I had done in the milk barn, kissing my friend full on the lips was definitely a new one. Mike’s presence seemed to heighten all my senses, my skin felt every movement in the air, and my nose could smell Mike and his distinct scent. And of course my eyes were as big around as Frisbees, I was just pitiful.

Mike turned and said that he had to run, but that we could meet at the church about 9 and finish our, ummm, conversation. He turned and walked toward the door and as he was going through it, stopped and turned toward me. The words that came out of his mouth nearly caused me to drop to the ground. He asked about Julie. I instantly knew that he was aware of the little rendezvous in the pasture today, how I haven’t a clue. I was a mixture between embarrassed and scared. He had a really strange look on his face as he said that we would discuss it later. He had an unusual authoritarian tone in his voice that both intrigued and frightened me. And for a moment, I thought I saw pain in his facial expression. I was immediately overcome with guilt. I felt guilty about using Julie the way I did, and now I hurt Mike’s feelings, what a complete fuckup I had performed in the last 12 hours.

I finished the chores and headed to the house to get ready and go meet Mike. I wasn’t really sure what the night would be like. So I was a little reluctant. I jumped in the shower, my mind seemed to be stuck on the look on Mike’s face as he left the milk barn. I put on some clean clothes, grabbed a sandwich and jumped in my truck and headed to St Ivo. Mike was there when I arrived. He had a bottle of whiskey with him and we took off in his truck. I was unsure as to what to expect, but I was soon to be very aware. I was hardly prepared for the scene that ensued.

We rode along for a few minutes without saying anything. The radio was playing some country music song that I didn’t recognize. I looked out the window, and then glanced over at Mike. He seemed to be deep in thought. I wondered what was on his mind, but was a little afraid to ask. Mike finally broke the silence when he asked if I had enjoyed sex with Julie. I wasn’t sure how to answer, so I decided with the middle of the road approach. “It was OK.” I said.

“Well that is cool I guess.” He commented blandly.

“How did you know? I mean it just happened this afternoon.” I queried.

Mike smiled and looked over at me. “Well, lets just say that Julie beat me to the punch.” He gave me a suggestive wink and then took a large drink from the bottle. For a minute I was confused as to what he meant. Then it dawned on me. He had been watching. I was mortified. The first time I had sex with a girl and my male lover was there to critique my performance.

“You mean, you saw us, what we were...oh man.” I stuttered. Mike laughed a hearty laugh and slapped men on the shoulder. I knew that I would be teased about this for some time to come.

“Well stud, judging by her moans, I say you were tearing her up. I was getting kind of jealous, you know seeing you paw on her like that.” If there had been a way that I could have gotten under the seat of the truck, I would have. This was just nightmare-ish.

We pulled into the church parking lot and pulled around behind under the trees. I was feeling no pain from the Makers Mark I was drinking. When Mike stopped, I decided I needed a walk. When my feet hit the ground, I stumbled a bit and fell over a tombstone. Mike laughed, I gave him the finger, with a big smile on my face. Mike jumped out and walked with me down the trail that led to the woods behind the church. I suddenly was overcome with questions for Mike. What did he feel for me, if anything? Was he gay? Was I? Were we lovers or fuck buddies? They all seemed so “girlish” so I just kept quiet. Mike broke the silence once again by commenting, “Well I was sort of taken back that you and Julie were, you know, doing it. I just assumed that you didn’t have any interest in girls. Not that there is anything wrong with that.” Mike stammered and tried to apologize for pointing out the fact that I like guys.

“I didn’t. I don’t. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Guess I wasn’t.” I countered. Mike grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him. The night sky was almost navy blue. The moon and stars were shining through the leaves of the trees. The crickets and frogs were calling. Mike’s tall frame was just a dark figure. I looked up at him and at that moment realized just how much bigger he was than I. Mike must have been reading my mind, that or the things I needed to hear were written on my forehead.

“Jason, you know that I like you. You know, in that way. When I saw you with Julie, well at first I was sort of turned on, you know seeing you two going at it like mad animals. But then I felt hurt, you know like you were, well cheating on me. I didn’t really like it.” Mike’s face was shadowed, but I could tell he was serious and even though it wasn’t the profession that I was dreaming of, it was still good for a country boy who wasn’t supposed to have emotions anyway. Mike sealed his profession as he kissed me hard and deep. My head started to spin and I felt myself submit to his every whim. My shirt got ripped as we fell into passion. The dew on the ground was damp as he laid me down in the grass, never breaking our embrace. His touch was electric and I felt my body come alive as he stimulated all my senses. He touched all the right places and pushed all the right buttons. I was elevated to heights of ecstasy that I had never dreamed of. Mike was so attentive to my body’s every need, my lips, my neck, my chest, my stomach, nothing escaped his passionate onslaught.

I looked up and watched him shed his clothes in the moonlight. The moon reflected from the skin on his shoulders. He looked as though he were a god on earth. I quickly sat up and worshiped his body with my every move. I caressed him, kissed and licked him. At that moment there was nothing real except for the two of us. The world was miles away. Mike entered me with a sense of urgency and need. I kneeled in front of him, begging him to use my body for his worldly desires. Though his size was somewhat discomforting, I would dare not ask him to stop. His big hands grasped my shoulders, pulling me into him. I moaned with ecstasy. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my chest. He placed kisses on my neck and shoulders and even slid down to my mid back. His gentle kisses drove me wild. He hugged me tight and I could tell by his breathing that he was nearing the point we both begged for. With a gasp, a moan and a firm thrust, he exploded. My body rejoiced at his presence. My own hand wondered down to my midsection and with a few thrusts, I exploded into the dew soaked grass. Gasping for air, we gently slid down to our sides, squeezing one another so tightly that a hurricane could not pull us apart.

I had no words that could thank Mike for the way he had made me feel. I opened my mouth and “I love you” came out. I felt Mike tense. My brain, a step behind at this moment, had spilled my inner thoughts before I could help it. I laid there, not knowing what to do or say. Mike said, as he tightened his grip around my chest, “and I love you too Jason.”